December 28, 2006

Attention Cheaters

     This is directed at the group of about 8 people sitting near the window at Champps for movie trivia. You cost me $100 tonight as a result of your chicken-shit reliance on technology and sheer numbers to beat the master of disaster (me). I cannot allow this to continue. Since it is the holidays, my cold heart will allow your insolence to go overlooked. However, as of Thursday, January 4th, this disobedience will be dealt with severely and I can assure you it will not be a pleasant experience. You have been warned.


Attention Citizens of Burnsville

     Your days of fortune and good luck at the weekly, local movie trivia contest are over. I shall claim the title of reigning champion this evening and for all the days to come. Do yourselves a favor and just stay home. Or just pay me the $100 now and I'll stay home. Bow out gracefully or prepare to be destroyed and humiliated. The choice is yours...


December 11, 2006

Happy Winter Solstice

     Here's a great gift for all you secular progressives out there to buy your children this month:



This is Odd

     For now, check this out:

I'll tell you about my trip to the Waterpark of America tomorrow.


December 07, 2006

Weak Hearts on Suvivor

     I think I may have written about this before, but after my nightly news watching, I kept the TV on long enough to catch the beginning of "Survivor" on CBS. Although I didn't watch the whole thing, I just watched the first 20 minutes in which the reward challenge took place.

     The reward for winning this challenge was a great meal along with one loved one who visited each survivor. Before the challenge started, each tribal member got a very quick reunion with their loved one (wife, sister, father, etc.). This is where it gets sad. I don't mean sad like I felt bad, I mean sad like in pathetic.

     Now, I love my family with all my heart, but I gotta be honest; I think I can bare not to see any one of them for 31 days without breaking down and absolutely sobbing nearly uncontrollably as these people did. This includes the traditionally, less emotional men. One guy could hardly stand when he caught a glimpse of his wife. C'mon man, are you kidding me? You can't spend 3 weeks away from your wife without a complete and total break down? Where the hell did your balls go? This goes for all of you; including the women.


I Have No Friends

     Yesterday I sent an email and/or a myspace bulletin to over 70 people asking if they wanted to see "Apocalypto" with me on Friday night and then maybe have a drink or something afterwrads. How many responses did I get?

From a girl in California who said she can't make the 1800 mile trip to join me. I lead a sheltered, lonely, sad, miserable life. Siiiiiigh.


December 05, 2006

Another Caucasion, Gary

     Out of cream? You can still make your white russians with egg nog I just found out. It is extremely good. I am a bloody genius!


December 04, 2006

From CNN:

     Bush met at the White House with Abdul Aziz Hakim, the Shiite leader of the largest bloc in Iraq's parliament.

     Hakim, after what he called a "very clear" meeting earlier with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, told reporters in Arabic that "we have asked for the American forces to stay in Iraq" to enable Iraqi security to deal with terrorists.


December 03, 2006

Ladders Ladders Ladders

     At long last! A list of Rob Peters' favorite ladders. I was thinking of getting a ladder, now I know which one to get! Be sure to read the explanations.

Rob's Ladders


No More Txt Messages

     If anyone cares, you have to stop sending text messages to my cell phone; at least for a while. You see, I dropped a speaker on the phone last weekend and now both the front and interior displays are unreadable. I can answer your call, but I can't read anything. So this also means that unless I know your number by heart or know which speed dial you are, I can't call you back unless you leave me a message.


Movie Patron

December 01, 2006


     I just found out that Fandango charges an extra $1 convenience charge per ticket. Screw that. I'll just show up at the theater 2 minutes earlier and wait in line. No, I'm not cheap. I'm just not gonna bow down to "the man." Out.


Mmmmmm... Caffeine

     Until about two weeks ago, I was drinking about one cup of coffee per week. Usually on a Monday or Wednesday just to get me perked up. I was brought up in a coffee family and was taught to drink coffee the way you're supposed to drink coffee, like your men - black. This is until my stupid boss brought in a brand name coffee creamer every week that tastes like creme brulee; my favorite dessert. Now, I drink about 4 cups of coffee per day because this cream is so damn good. I'm pretty sure this is not good for me.


November 30, 2006

Last Post of November

     November 2006. I'll never forget it. I saw like 100 movies and worked many hours. I forgot to pay my Verizon bill and broke my cell phone in the same week. I bought a new set of head phones and I fixed my iPod by myself. I purchased egg nog for the first time this year and replaced the first light bulb in my apartment since moving in over a year ago.

Also, November of 2006 was the month in which I made the most posts to this blog: 24 (including this one). Then next closest was 16 in October of 2004.

Hope December is just as amazing and memorable as November was.


The Longest Post

     One of the only music artists that I am still a fan of today that I listened to when I was 7 years old is definitely "Wierd" Al Yankonvic. His newest album has been released; and besides great tracks like "Don't Download this Song" or the Green Day paradoy of "American Idiot," entitled "Canadian Idiot," is the eleven minute epic, "Stuck in the Drive Thru." Here are the lyrics for your viewing pleasure...

Seven O'Clock in the evening
Watchin somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

She says "Is this 'Behind the Music'
with Lynard Skynard?"
And I say "I don't know.
Say, it's gettin' late...watcha wanna do for dinner?

She says "I kinda had a big lunch.
So I'm not super hungry."
I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could eat."

She said "So whadya have in mind?"
I said "I don't know what about you?"
She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat."
I said "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says "Let me think...
...What's left in our refridgerator?"

I said "Well, there's tuna, I know."
She said "That went bad a week ago!"
I said "Is the chili OK?"
She said "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said
"I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'."
She's like "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like "I should know what I said..."
She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry
Callin' for the third time today...
My wife said "Let it go to voicemail."
I said, "OK."

"Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d'ya want to do?"
She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes...
...Oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say "OK, where ya want to go?"
She says "How about The Ivy?"
I said "Yeah, well I don't know..."

I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
She's says "Olive Garden?"
I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood...

...And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says "Just forget about it"
I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I says "I know what we'll do!"
She says "What?"
I say "Guess"
She says "What?"
I say "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well here we are
in the drive-thru line, me and her.
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?"

My wife says "Maybe we should park...
...We could just go eat inside."
I said "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride..."

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?"
I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese."

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time"

I said "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says "That's not what I'm hungry for."
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said "Then, take our order,
and we'll be on our way!

I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She's like "You want onions on that?"
I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do...

...Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it."

Then I said "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright...
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right."

She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich.
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says "We're havin' a special,
I supersized you at no charge."

"Oh." And that's all
I could say, was "Oh."
And she says "Now there is somethin' else
That I really think you should know.

You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more..."
I say "Great, except we're in the drive thru...
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like "No, that ain't Paul,
now tell me, who's this Paul?

She says "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me.
I sat behind him last year
and I copied off him in Geometry.

I said "I know a guy named Paul.
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer.

He also had bladder problems
and a really bad infection on his toe."
And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there,
that's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents."

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio...

*Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog" plays*

*Click* Turned it off
because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake.

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said "Um,
I think you have somethin' in your teeth."

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said "Did I get it?"
I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it...
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it."

Then she said "How about now?"
I said "Yeah, almost.
There's still a little bit there
but don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast."

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like,
"Well, well that'll be five eighty two."
I turn around to my wife, and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this, I guess."
So she reaches into her purse
and pulls out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says "Oh, dear.
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here."

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks."
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks.

I said "I thought you were
going to hit the ATM today"
She says "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway?

And I said "Nevermind,
Just help me to find some change..."
Now the lady at the window
is lookin at me kinda strange...

And she says "Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along"
I said "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady,
We won't be long."

So I looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
frozen on her face
She screams, "you know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place!"

And so I turned around
to the cashier again
I shrugged and said "OK
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my reciept
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene."

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene,
Can I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say "Ketchup!"
And he says "Oh yeah, that's right...
...I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight."

And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
by the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say "Baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
they forgot the onions!



The Day the Music Died

     My sister just sent me word that the popular, LEGAL, Russian website,, will soon be closing its e-doors. Hence, no more wonderful music that rivals giants like iTunes and Wal-Mart in quality and price (by far). This will be a huge blow to my music collection and ulitmately my pocketbook. I refuse to be gouged by the record companies and pay $17 for a CD that costs very little to produce. I know there are a lot of chunks in the payable pie of what goes into producing an album, but I care little. I want my music cheap and fast and was the best way to get that accomplished. I guess trips to the library are in my future.

     I am extremely saddened and yes, my day has been ruined.

     You can read the full article HERE, and I encourage anyone who has a remaining balance on their account with, to use it up and collect as much music as you can before they are gone for good. Hopefully they'll still be open on Saturday and I will spend the afternoon getting everything I can.


November 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

     "In regards to Iran, I'll tell you...a showdown is coming that is going to make Iraq look like a Shirley Temple film."

- Sir Bill O'Reilly


November 28, 2006

Most Ridiculous Item of the Day

     This is utter prepostericity (my word). I hope this woman sticks to her guns and tells the retards living in her home association to "shove it."

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A homeowners' association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.

Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs.

He said some residents believed the wreath was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.

"Somebody could put up signs that say drop bombs on Iraq. If you let one go up you have to let them all go up," he said in a telephone interview Sunday.

Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."

Jensen, a past association president, calculates the fines will cost her about $1,000, and doubts they will be able to make her pay. But she said she's not going to take it down until after Christmas.

"Now that it has come to this I feel I can't get bullied," she said. "What if they don't like my Santa Claus?"

The association in this 200-home subdivision 270 miles southwest of Denver has sent a letter to her saying that residents were offended by the sign and the board "will not allow signs, flags etc. that can be considered divisive."

The subdivision's rules say no signs, billboards or advertising are permitted without the consent of the architectural control committee.

Kearns ordered the committee to require Jensen to remove the wreath, but members refused after concluding that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn't say anything.

Kearns fired all five committee members.

November 27, 2006


     For the third time this month (that I've heard), the guy upstairs has begun to sob while fighting with his wife/girlfriend. What a suck.


Mind Numbing

     Election '08 is far in the distance, yet numbers, predictions and bank accounts are already being secured for possible candidates in the race. I came across an interesting poll from Financial Dynamics that tries to figure out who would win the election if it were held today (actually, about two weeks ago).

     The numbers for republicans and democrats I couldn't really care less about as anything can happen in the next 24 months and as we know, polls are highly unreliable. What is more interesting is the number of people who don't know who these candidates are. Shocking and remarkable.

     You can click on the link above to see table after table of data, but these are the numbers that took me by surprise: possible candidate and the percentage of people (out of 1005 registered voters) WHO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THE PERSON - -

Rudy Giuliani - - 10%
Condoleezza Rice - - 4%
John McCain - - 10%
Newt Gingrich - - 12%
Mitt Romney - - 48%
Sam Brownback - - 61%
Duncan Hunter - - 69%

Hilary Clinton - - 0%
Al Gore - - 0%
Barack Obama - - 34%
John Kerry - - 2%
John Edwards - - 16%
Joe Biden - - 36%

     These registered voters make me sad. We live in a world now where one can totally isolate themselves from the real world. You want to watch movies 24/7 (like me)? You can. If you want to immerse yourself in sports and leisure, we got it. You have unlimited amounts of addictive porn and adult chat rooms on the internet. Our society has hundreds of channels on cable and satellite to fill your time and brain with crap.

     I admit I didn't know who Sam Brownback and Duncan Hunter are either, but 10% of registered voters (in this sample) don't know who Rudy Giuliani is!? 34% don't know Barack Obama? Or even worse, 20 REGISTERED VOTERS (out of 1000) have no idea who John Kerry is. I beg everyone, turn off "Dancing with the Goddamn Stars" and watch CNN once in a while. How can we have a democratic society and an informed populace when only 40% of voters go out and vote in an election and a small percentage of those voters don't even know who Condoleeza Rice is? You don't need to know everything, but for God sake, inform yourself once in a while and pick up a news paper (even reading the NY Times would be better that no paper at all) and learn who Joe Biden is. This information makes me angry and sad. I hope the numbers are incorrect, but they probably aren't.


November 20, 2006

Pics of the World

     This is a SUPER cool website. Just click on any red dot to see multiple images from that spot in the world.

Zoom in and out and upload your own pics. Enjoy and thank me for introducing you to this magic.


Crazy Cosmo

     Hey Kramer! Welcome to the unemployment line you dumbass!



     Two people have already found out the hard way that I am not the person with whom to mess today. Especially when I'm right. Usually care-free and happy-go-lucky (damn that sounds gay), today I am on a rampage. I should have a Mr. Yuck sticker on my chest today - stay away!


Vote Band of Horses

     The PLUG Independent music awards nominees are in and everyone should get over and vote. My personal second place album of the year is up for several categories including band of the year and album of the year. Get over to The PLUG Awards now and vote for Band of Horses in every category.

Rock and roll...

Oh Poop

     "Six o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream.
I was kissing Penelope Cruz by a crystal blue, Italian stream.
But I can't be late because then I guess I just won't get paid.
These are the days when you wish your bed was already made.

It's just another manic monday..."


November 17, 2006


     Friday night and I need a fight.
My Motorcycle and a switchblade knife...
Handful of grease and my hair feels right.
But what I need to make me tight are those

Girls Girls Girls...


The Morning of Fri, Nov. 17

     How to spend your day at work today:

Clicking refresh on any Playstation 3 eBay auction in the last 2 minutes and watching it jump in increments of $100 every ten seconds. The highest I've seen one go for so far is $6100. I won't call the guys waiting in line all day losers anymore I guess.


November 16, 2006

The Force is with You, Young Retard

     I don't even need to offer up commentary on this one. I'll let the article speak for itself. I'm the biggest Star Wars fan I (or you) probably knows. But after reading this article I'm about to copy and paste, I think that's a good thing.
From UK/Ireland Yahoo! news:

Two self-styled Jedi Knights are stepping up an intergalactic campaign for formal recognition. Umada and Yunyun, also known as John Wilkinson and Charlotte Law, want the UN to acknowledge "The Force" is worthy of being called a religion. The couple claim to be part of the UK's fourth largest religious group, after 400,000 people recorded their faith as "Jedi" in the 2001 Census.

They say that as a religion, they deserve tolerance and respect. November the 16th is the annual International Day for Tolerance.

And as part of a global battle worthy of Luke Skywalker's efforts against the Empire, the band of self-styled Jedis want the UN to re-name the day as Interstellar Day of Tolerance.

More people claim their religion to be Jedi in England and Wales than those who follow Sikhism, Judaism and Buddhism. And the cause has global support.

There are also 70,000 Jedi knights in Australia, 53,000 in New Zealand, and 20,000 in Canada.

This is Umada and Yunyun's letter to the UN Association:

To whom it may concern,

For the last ten years the United Nations has marked today as the International Day of Tolerance.

While we support this important work, we feel the UN needs to move with the times.

In the 2001 UK census, 390,000 people identified themselves as Jedi Knights, making us the fourth largest religion in the country.

We have a proud heritage dating back 195,000 years to our first Jedi, the blue haired, blue eyed Kaja Sinis, who was born on Coruscant.

Like the United Nations, the Jedi Knights are peacekeepers, and we feel we have the basic right to express our religion through wearing our robes, and to be recognised by the national and international community.

We therefore call upon you to change the 16th November to the United Nations Interstellar Day of Tolerance, to reflect the religious make-up of our twenty-first century civilization.

Tolerance is about respecting difference where ever it lies, including other galaxies. Please don't exclude us from your important work.

May the Force be with you.



     This is very likely staged and fake as hell. But still, since I believe in ghosts, this is damn creepy. And if it's fake, it's better than most Hollywood directors are at giving me the willies....

Ghost caught on tape?


November 14, 2006

You Tube Issues

     I figured out how to embed youtube videos in my movie blog (a much better service by the way); but I can't figure out how to embed on blogger (blogspot) without giving my username and password to youtube - which is bullshit. Anyone got any ideas or know of a way around this?

     Oh yeah, and to the point of this, check out this sweet fan made film of The Imperial forces under Darth Vader as they take on The Colonial fleet and Commander Adama. Wow.


November 13, 2006

Why Torture Should Be Legal

I would love to get my hands on this guy. All I need is two minutes...

Somerset father accused in assault
Friday, November 10, 2006

By Caitlin Cleary, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A Somerset County man has been accused of abusing his newborn daughter -- smashing her head into a bathroom sink and onto a dining room table, bending her leg over his shoulder until he heard it break and twice using an electric cattle prod on the baby.

Brandon Alan Austill, 21, of Somerset Borough, was charged Wednesday with aggravated assault, endangering the welfare of a child and possession of an electric or electronic incapacitation device.

The device, a hand-held prod called the Hot Shot Power-Mite, is used legitimately by dairy farmers, hog producers and large-animal veterinarians to deliver 4,500-volt shocks to cattle, pigs and other livestock. Its manufacturer warns buyers to keep the Power-Mite away from children.

Rest of story is HERE.

So they release this piece of shit's name and location in the story. If he isn't in jail for at least the next 20 years, I will find him and it will hurt... a lot.


November 09, 2006

Rumsfeld Meets the Press

     This is hilarious:

Rummy meets the press


Win or Lose

In response to a recent comment at Bird's Eye re-View, here is a quote from Anderson Cooper tonight on CNN regarding the new secretary of defense; "Can Gates find a way for the American troops in Iraq to start to draw down OR win in Iraq?"

The key word in that sentence is OR. Win, or not to win; that is the question. So yes, we can win or we can lose. There are multiple options to either scenario, but it's ultimately up to the American people...truly it is. You choose.


November 08, 2006

Rumsfeld Resigns!

About time. Now we can win this war!


Today is Wednesday

"Gas prices shot up over $.26 per gallon in some parts of the country today as Wall Street continues to fall in the wake of yesterday's election results."


In lighter news, we may finally get to see the Democrats' grand plan for victory in Iraq that they've been telling us they have for two years.


November 06, 2006

Cows in Road. Use Caution.

Only leaving Mankato would I see a sign and a subsequent 15 minute slow down because of this.


November 03, 2006


     I spend way too much time on YouTube; both at work and at home.
Here's a link to all my favorite videos that I've found:

Drewbacca's Favorites on YouTube


October 31, 2006

Battlestar Galactica

     I decided to take pretty much everyone's word for it and give the "new" Battlestar Galactica a test run. I remember Battlestar from my youth. It was a campy tv show on after the cartoons on Saturday morning. With effects and story that just didn't do it for me like Star Wars did, I was mostly disinterested. But EVERYONE online, including a lot of people who's opinions I really value, claim that the new series on the Sci-fi channel is one of the best, if not THE best show on television.

      I learned that there was a test pilot/miniseries on before the show was greenlit for a complete season which introduces us to the characters and the basic storyline. Although not completely necessary, it is recommended to watch this first before jumping into the series. The pilot mini-series was OK, but nothing super spectacular. Enough though, that it kept my interest and convinced me to at least try the first disc of season 1. Again, although not terrific, the first few episodes of season one were better than the pilot and were enough to keep my interest and compel me to get disc 2 of the first season. Now finished with disc 2, I see what all this fuss is about and realize that this really is a great show.

      My real love is still for "Lost," but now that I'm caught up with "Lost," it is only on once a week. Not to mention that season 3 of Sawyer and the gang is hardly what it once was. "Battlestar" is fresh and new for me and since it is on DVD and currently in its third season, I can sit and watch 3 hours of it and know I still have plenty more to go before I am caught up.

      The storyline has truly taken off into some compelling and suspenseful storytelliung. And this new overhauled, revisioning of the series looks and feels great. It's gritty and military-esque. Not campy and fantasy-like. The physics of ships and space is something original we don't see too much of in sci-fi epics. And let's not forget the acting. Although most of the acting is only slightly better than average, there are glimpses of brilliance by veteran actor Edward James Olmos, who really takes a less is more approach to his role as Captain Adama. He is FANTASTIC to watch.

     Besides drawing the usual and obvious sci-fi geeks (i.e. me), critics say it offers the only fresh take on terrorism, religion, gender, abortion, civil liberty, democracy and corporatization to be found on TV.

     "[Is Battlestar Galactica] The Best Show on Television in 2005? Yes, according to Time Magazine, Rolling Stone and New York Newsday. Praised by The New York Times, The National Review, The New Yorker, The San Francisco Chronicle, The Chicago Tribune and many other publications, Battlestar Galactica won a prestigious Peabody Award in the spring of 2006."

      If you've got nothing better to do and you like sci-fi (GOOD sci-fi), I highly recommend giving "Battlestar Galactica" a chance. It's very little like the original show with smart writing, great characters (specifically Adama and Dr. Gaius) and damn cool action sequences. If you do decide to try it, give it at least through disc 2 of the first season and I promise it will hook you.

     "There are those who believe... that life here... began out there. Far across the universe. With tribes of humans... who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians... or the Toltecs... or the Mayans... that they may have been the architects of the Great Pyramids... or the lost civilizations of Lemuria... or Atlantis... Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man... who even now fight to survive... somewhere beyond the heavens."


October 28, 2006

It's Saturday Night!

     I spent the evening watching a 1980 episode of "Wheel of Fortune" on youtube.


October 26, 2006

Illinois Owes Me a Handjob

     Crappiest state ever. At least their highway system is. Dangerously narrow, weaving freeways that are all under construction. Though the speed limit is 45 through these areas (which is pretty much the entire city of Chicago), everyone goes 70 and the posted limit is enforced in no way.

     There are approximately 15 toll booths in a 20 mile stretch of road that will cost you roughly $20 to pass through (one way). This is not an exaggeration. $1.60 per booth and they are spaced out about every 5 miles. There is no "throw your exact change in the basket" thingy. Instead, you have to stop and give your money to a booth worker; including waiting for change.

     As I am not from their crappy state, I'll never see the effects of that money and was not pleased. But even if I lived there, I don't know what they do with the literally millions of dollars they must make every single day as there IS NOT ONE rest area through the entire state (at least between Indiana and Wisconsin). This is infuriating. And, about 2 miles from the border, you must pay a toll to leave the state of Illinois.

     They also have sharp nails lying everywhere to flatten out-of-stater's tires to delay their trip and get even more of our money.

     Top all of this off with the fact that they have built so many new buildings in the past 15 years in the downtown area, that I can't see the "Adventures in Babysitting" building hardly at all on their sky-line (even if I could look at the skyline for more than a second and half before being forced to watch the road as it weaves left to right over an uneven lane change with lines painted everywhere and concrete barricades instead of anything resembling a shoulder and two large semi-trucks looming over me, behind me and infront of me that threaten to squash my car into oblivion).

     It would be cheaper, quicker and safer to drive through Iowa, Missouri, Kentucky and Indiana to get to your destination while travelling across country than driving through Illinois.

     So like I said, Illinois owes me a hand job.


October 20, 2006

We've Come out of Hyper-Space

     Hats off to Mike at the Sears spaceport outside of Chicago for retro-fitting the debris damaged Falcon with extra alluvial dampers and hydro-spanners so she could make her final jump to lightspeed. He made the modifications in record time and I appreciate it. Made it into the starbase Toronto with time to spare. Cheers to Capt. Mike!


October 18, 2006

After Dark

     Be sure to watch my coverage over the next few days of The Toronto After Dark Film Festival.

Catch all the action HERE

Ramble on...


     Here's the final line-up of my NBA fantasy team for the 06-07 year.
Names and their eligible positions:

Jermaine O'Neal (C,F)
Zach Randolph (F)
Ron Artest (F,G)
Tony Parker (G)
Kobe Bryant (G)
Shareef Abdur-Rahim (F)
Manu Ginobli (G)
Mike James (G) - Go Wolves!

     Our league starts six guys per week, so I need to decide which of my back-ups I want to start. What really sucks, is I don't seem to have a back-up center. So if O'Neal goes down, I'll have to pick from the less-than-desireable crop that's left in the pool.


Hold the Mail!

     So before leaving on my trip (please don't rob my apartment), I went to and requested a hold on my mail. I had to enter my name, address and phone number and VOILA! My mail will be held. No verification of who I am, just easy as that.

     Now, though I am greatful for the ease and short notice of my request, does it strike anyone else as odd that all you have to do is type someone's name, address and phone number into the system and the US Postal Service will start witholding their mail? Good practical joke to play on someone as long as they aren't expecting anything important.


October 13, 2006


     I've been living in my current apartment for almost exactly a year now and I just finished off only my second roll of paper towels since living there. I try to always use a rag whenever possible and my sleeve for a napkin.

     How's that for conservation? I'm pretty damn proud of myself thank you.


October 12, 2006

It's Early October

Good thing I tuned up the ol' Arctic Cat sled last weekend ain't it?


October 06, 2006


My heart hurts.


October 03, 2006

Album Releases

Beck (purchase)
Evanescence (steal online)
Amos Lee (purchase)
The Killers (download)
The Decemberists (download)


October 01, 2006

Twins Bring it Home

     The MN Twins just took the Central Division championship and the Oakland A's will be in town on Tuesday and Wednesday. I guess I have to take work off since I have seats.

With Puckett lookin' down, I don't see how we can lose. I'll see you at the World Series!


September 30, 2006

Renaissance Festival 2006

     So instead of bore you with all the details of drinking and laughing at shows, I thought I'd post probably the best photo I have ever taken. This little girl obviously stopped by the balloon booth and picked herself up a new, snazzy, shape-able balloon. I sat in a pub as it rained and watched this girl (probably about 5 years old) begin to twist and mold her creation as her father was distracted by the music. Did she make a giraffe? No. A hat? No. Maybe it was a poodle? No. All of those things are far from a challenge enough for this little genius. So what did she make you ask?....


September 28, 2006


     I learned something very bad the other day about my waking device. If I press snooze, it gives me an extra 9 minutes before alerting me again that I have a long day ahead of me and I need to get my ass out of bed. However, I found that if I push snooze twice, or three times (or more), it tacks on an additional nine minutes each time I push the button. In other words, if I push the button three times repeatedly, it gives me 27 minutes of more sleep before sounding again.

     This little feature has already gotten me a talking to at work and I don't think I'm a mentally strong enough person to NOT hit that button more than once. Thus, I have to look for a new alarm clock this weekend.



September 26, 2006

I'm Trying to Eat Healthy

Today was pizza day at work. The boss ordered 6 giant pizzas from Pasta & Pizza (my favorite pizza place by far!). It was good, so I ate that for lunch instead of my egg whites, corn, yogurt and rice pilaf. So now I'm bigger. Plus,there was left overs so I took 3 slices home for dinner. I stole a roll of toilet paper.


Soap in a Microwave

Need I say more?



September 22, 2006

Happy Happy Joy Joy

It's gonna be rainy and shitty and cloudy and cold out all weekend.

But guess what? I love that kind of weather. I'm going to the Rennaisance Festival, which although I'm not sure if I just spelled it correctly, is always a blast; especially the Tortuga Twins.

I also got a raise today, which is always a good thing and will permit me to buy that much more alcohol at said festival.

I also got a new credit card today with a huge credit limit. The institution that gave it to me obviously doesn't know me too well; but still, it will be fun to buy things for free.

Have a nice weekend to all 2 of you who read this blog and be sure to check out my podcasts HERE.



September 21, 2006

Don't Knock it til You Try It

I forgot to mention...
Last weekend my mom gave me a peanut butter, lettuce and miracle whip sandwhich. It sounds horrible, but it actually wasn't that bad. Not the greatest thing I've ever eaten, but I would certainly eat another one someday. She apparently loves em. Hey, I'll try almost anything at least once.


Meanwhile, in a Blue State...


September 20, 2006

Twins Post-season

Unless things go horribly wrong in the next two weeks, the Twins are in the play-offs. My sister got tickets for me and I'll be there cheering my favorite professional sports team on to victory and glory.

Come and see me to say hi or punch me in the nads...
Section 105, row 30.

Not the greatest seats I've ever sat in, but I'm more than happy. No head turning to see the plate. Huge plus.


September 14, 2006


     As a huge fan of "Lost," one of my favorite characters is Sawyer. One of the reasons he's on the top of my list of favorite characters is his condescension towards other characters and the nick-names he gives people. Here's a list of nicknames I have come up with off the top of my head. Can you think of more?

Shannon - Sticks
Boone - Metro
Jin - Mr Myagi, Chewie, Mr Sulu (haha!)
Jack - Doc, Dr Doolittle, Dr. Quinn
Lock - Mr. Clean
Kate - Freckles, Sassafrass, Sweet Cheeks
Sun - Bettie, Tokyo Rose
Michael - Han
Charlie - VH1 Has-been
Walt - Short-Round
Hurley - Jabba, Staypuff, Hoss, Jethro
Sayid - Abdul, Al Jazeera, Captain Falafel, Mohammad
Anna Lucia - Ponce de Leon

I'm sure there are way more, but these are the ones I've put together in my head over the last 24 hours.


Update - I just found this site: List of Sawyer's nicknames

September 11, 2006

September 09, 2006

Trent Tucker Celebrity Charity Golf Tourney

Here's a list of people I came within 5 feet of (or closer) on Saturday afternoon:

Michael Jordan
Scottie Pippen
BJ Armstrong
John Randle
Byron Scott
Phil Gordon
Ed McDaniel
Trent Tucker
Charles Oakley
Jimmy Jam
Greg Willard
and more...


September 01, 2006

"Band of Horses" Makes Me Angry

I see maybe one true music show per month. I only go to the ones that really interest me these days. So when one comes around I want to see, I usually really want to see it. So here we are in September, and the show I want to see is a group called "Band of Horses." They're playing on Labor Day. What!?

Why would an up and coming band want to play the Twin Cities on Labor Day when most of the city (including myself) goes up to the lake for the weekend? Now granted, they are playing later on Monday night, so most people will be back in town by then and could go if they wanted to and weren't exhausted from a long weekend. But not me. I like to make my Labor Day weekend last so I take Tuesdays off from work. So I will NOT be in town and I am NOT happy, so I will NOT get to see them...again (I forgot last time they were in town that I had pre-purchased tickets and forgot to go).

So most of Monday I will be pretty crabby that I don't get to see my current favorite band. I'll be drinking anyway and looking at the lake in despair.


August 30, 2006

Red, Left Turn Arrows Are Bullshit

Red, left turn arrows are bullshit.


August 28, 2006

Dangfest '06





August 08, 2006

I Love "My Job"

     I had three seperate telephone calls today to ask me movie info. I love it. I had a friend who called to tell me that his showing of "Devil Wears Prada" was cancelled because of a church group taking over the theater to see "Monster House." He wanted to know what he should see instead as he was determined to see a movie on his day off.

     A co-worker called me not five minutes after he had left work to ask what he and his wife should see tonight.

     My best friend called from Florida, gave me a list of titles playing on the hotel, pay-per-view site and said, "Which one dude?"

     Not to mention, just like clockwork every Friday, our sales manager comes to me and wants to what movie he should go to that weekend. I love it.

     Knowing each individual person very well and knowing each circumstance that each of them are in (wants fun, has a wife with him, tired from a long day of work in a foreign city, or is a bit older and needs calming) I was able to prescribe the perfect remedy for each of them. Maybe instead of Drewbacca, I should be known as the film doctor - the only thing I've ever been good at.


P.S. - Check out the boys at They've got some great stories on their site and they planned to mention MoviePatron on their podcast this week. Nice.

July 30, 2006

Touching Story About Elephant Memory

     A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

     As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with His hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face,stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

     Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

     Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.


July 19, 2006

My New Forum Site

Press Release:

     Sorry the posts have been rather sparse lately. I've been working on this new concept of forums for my movie review site. It's been hard work getting it going, but it seems to be working now and I encourage everyone to check it out. If you like what you se, by all means, register and start posting and conversing. You can now tell the world (well, the people within my world) anything you want to say with a few key strokes. The more the merrier, so sign up now, it's totally free and confidential. Here's the link:

MoviePatron Forum Home

See you there!


July 16, 2006

The Saga of Danny and Maria Episode IV: The New Breed

     From the void that was left by Danny and Maria's departure, comes a new batch of terror: the silent fuckers. Never hearing a peep from them, I was happy with the new couple who are now my new upstairs neighbors, until about the third day, when they both apparently went into heat and have not come down since.

     A healthy sexual appetite with the one you love is a divine thing; but not when it deprives Drewbacca of his sleep. And especially not when it isn't, at the very least, entertaining. The new couple, are silent fuckers, but their bed is not. It is the loudest, creakiest, most obnoxius sounding bed I have ever heard. It permeates my bedroom walls and creates vibrations that make the bottles in my bar clink together ever so slightly. This happens, quite literally, twice a day. I have yet to hear one little vocal outpouring. They let their bed from the 13th century do all the moaning.

     This happens most of the time, at about 8:30 in the morning and again around 2:30 in the morning (which is the time I am trying to spend dreaming about my own sexual scenario). So when the bed creaks; up and down up and down up and down up and down...quicker...faster...up and down up and down up anD DOWN up AND DOWN UP AND DOWN UP AND DOWN, over and over for fifteen minutes and I have to wake up and listen to it, I am not happy.

     So, I pray for the day that I win the lottery. My first purchase? A brand new, creak-free, king size bed for the neighbors upstairs. Sure I could just move out into a mansion, but then I would miss the day my beloved Danny and Maria return from the crusades and we are re-united once again and things return to the way they were: happy ever after.


July 13, 2006


For the birdseyereview blog anniversary, my digital department got me a brand new mouse for my office computer. It rocks! It is sooo much smoother than my old mouse. It also has a better grip and the roll wheel is much more precise. I am happy today.

I also bought myself a present in downloading a program called Memo Keys. It allows you to shortcut up to 500 different text inputs with a single keystroke. No more saving signatures, usernames and passwords to my desktop in a text file. I now hit F2 + s and voila!, my signature appears on any window that accepts text (email, word, web forums, whatever). It is slick. My computer days just got so much easier by ten fold with two simple items. Happy anniversary!


Happy Anniversary!

     Two years ago today Birds Eye re-View Blog was born. I would like to thank the Academy, all my freinds and family, and the ONE person I know who actually reads this blog on a regular basis for all your love and support. Thanks to the many, many people who constantly leave comments; I wouldn't be able to maintain and come up with new ideas wihtout you all. See you for another year....maybe.

~ Drewbacca

July 12, 2006

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

     One of the original founders of the greatest band ever, Pink Floyd, passed away several days ago, but was just announced on Tuesday. Syd Barrett, who has been troubled with diabetes (and other mental issues) most of his life, was the writer of many great, early Pink Floyd albums; including "Piper at the Gates of Dawn," "Saucerful of Secrets" and some other lesser known singles and unreleased records.

     Although not my favorite member or even contributor, his presence did directly influence portions of later great Floyd albums like "Dark Side of the Moon," "Wish You Were Here" and "The Wall" with his style and his personality.

     Besides "inventing" new guitar sounds while recording Piper and being generally credited with naming the band, the most well known thing about Syd, were his antics on stage. Drugged up most of the time on LSD, most of his on stage time consisted of him randomly strumming the same chord for an entire show and he or may not have been singing. Much of the time he just stared blankly at the audience or camera and drooled.

     Here's a good story: according to Roger Waters, Barrett came into what was to be their last practice session with a new song he had dubbed "Have You Got It, Yet?" The song seemed simple enough when he first presented it to his bandmates, but it soon became impossibly difficult to learn: as they were practicing it, Barrett kept changing the arrangement. He would then play it again, with the arbitrary changes, and sing "Have you got it yet?" After more than an hour of trying to "get it," they realized they never would. Hilarious actually.

He directly influenced the main character in Pink Floyd's "The Wall" movie partly by shaving off all of his body hair at one point; chest, legs, eyebrows and all. Also, brushing your teeth while holding the brush in place and jumping up and down is not a normal way of thinking or doing things; but that was Syd.

     After being kicked out of the band, he tried a few solo albums and collaborations but finally gave up and ended up living a reclusive lifestyle in his mother's basement until his death.

     So it will be a day filled with Pink Floyd in my office today, as the founder of my favorite band has died at age 60 of, thus far, unannounced reasons. So thanks Syd. Although I don't care for a lot of your music, your influence and passion inspired some of my favorite songs of all time and countless more musicians who went on to become huge successes. I won't miss you, because your legacy lives on. Peace brother.


July 03, 2006

James Bond is a Pussy

     "Shaken, not stirred." One of 007's famous sayings referring to his vodka martinis. But what is a little known fact is why he likes them this way. It is because when you shake a martini, it gets watered down and not as strong tasting. Therefore, I drink my martinis stirred...not shaken; like a real man.

~ Drewbacca

June 27, 2006

I Couldn't Resist

This was way too funny NOT to post....

~ Drewbacca

June 23, 2006

Live Bait 1991-1994

     Reminiscing recently about the past, brought about an idea I've wanted to get down on paper for a long time; before I forget completely. My high school rock band played cover after cover of popular tunes at the time. Through the years, there were a few incarnations of the band, but the core 3 or 4 of us were there from the beginning to the end. We played parties, school functions and even dances for various junior high schools. Here is a list of almost all of the songs we played at these shows at one time or another.

Black Crowes:
Jealous Again
Hard to Handle
Thick n' Thin
She Talks to Angels
No Speak No Slave
Sometimes Salvation

Counting Crows:
Mr. Jones
Einstein on the Beach

Guns N' Roses:
Knockin' on Heaven's Door
It's So Easy
Paradise City
Sweet Child O' Mine
Used to Love Her

Pearl Jam:
Porch (my personal favorite)
Elderly Woman
Yellow Ledbetter

Jane Says (Jane's Addiction)
Been Caught Stealin' (Jane's Addiction)
Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)
Son of a Gun (Nirvana's version of a Vaselines tune)
Molly's Lips (Nirvana's version of a Vaselines tune)
Plush (Stone Temple Pilots)
Blister in the Sun (Violent Femmes)
Everything About You (Ugly Kid Joe)
Shelter Me (Cinderella)
Mrs. Robinson (Lemonheads' version of Simon & Garfunkel tune)
Creep (Radiohead)
Suck My Kiss (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Under the Bridge (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Today (Smashing Pumpkins)
Ball & Chain (Social D)
Little Miss Can't Be Wrong (Spin Doctors)
Two Princes (Spin Doctors)
Hey Jealousy (Gin Blossoms)
In a Daydream (FJB)
Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd)
Rockin' In the Free World (Neil Young)
Rainy Day Woman (Black Crowes version of the Bob Dylan tune)
Jealous Guy (Black Crowes version of the John Lennon tune)

Our guitarist's dad's 50th b-day party:
Splish Splash
Rock 'Round the Clock
Jailhouse Rock
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
Rockin' Robin

"Ladies and gentlemen, you have been too kind. Thank you so much and we'll see you next time. Until then, we are LIVE BAIT! THANK YOU!"
**thunderous applause and cheering erupts**

~ Drewbacca

June 21, 2006

The Flixster Battle Rages On

     My second favorite website,, has introduced a new feature: top user charts. It ranks users on various statistics, such as most reviews, forum posts, profile reviews and more. Out of 1.5 million users now on Flixster, here is how I currently rank...


     Does this mean I'm cool as hell or a total loser? WAIT! Don't answer that. With my magnificence, these numbers are sure to get better.
With fist in the air, stating clearly, "I rule," I am:

~ Drewbacca

June 20, 2006

Pet Peeve of the Day: Vol V

     More than a pet peeve actually; nearly a burning rage. People who go to watch their hometown sports team, and then proceed to root for the other team. At the dome the other night, I swear the Red Sox fans were just as loud, if not louder, than the Twins fans. There is no way that many people traveled from Boston. So why are all of these Minnesotans rooting for the other team (whom we spanked 6-2 by the way)? It pisses me off. And this applies to all sports and levels (i.e. Olympics, local teams, college, etc.).

C'mon people, show some spirit and root for YOUR home team!

~ Drewbacca

June 17, 2006

A New Kind of Review

     As you may or may not know, Crest has released some new and interesting flavors of toothpaste known as "Whitneing Expressions" and I've been interested in them for weeks. But I didn't want to buy an entire tube of lemon flavored toothpaste only to find that it sucks and that I'm stuck with it for the next several months.

     But yesterday I noticed they have released a variety pack so you can try out all of the new flavors in small tubes before settling on just one and using it for weeks. So here is a very short review of each new flavor...

Cinnamon Rush
Not all that much different from Close-Up or any other cinnamon flavored toothpaste. However, it is slightly more intense and "stinging." In short, it's good. Like a strong cinnamon flavored chewing gum basically.

Extreme Herbal Mint
Really not a lot to say. It's a minty toothpaste not unlike any other spearmint toothpaste. Maybe a bit more intense. This goes the best with my after brushing mouthwash.

Lemon Ice
Here we are getting into something new. This paste tastes a lot like lemon meringue. It was the first of the four I tried yesterday and it was good, but definitely different. It seemed to get slightly syrup-y in my mouth by the end. But still, it was an intersting feeling to brush your teeth with pie filling.

Refreshing Vanilla Mint
Have you ever brushed your teeth with candy? That's what this was like. It tastes good, but the after taste in my mouth was, not surprisingly, vanilla-y for hours until I ate something. Plus, if I were to use mouthwash afterwards, it would have to be a vanilla mouthwash or I'd have a very unpleasant experience inside my mouth. I think this would be a good choice for those of you with kids who don't like to brush their teeth.

~ Drewbacca

Two Posts in One

     I saw someone today whom I have not seen for roughly two months. After hello, the first thing she said to me was, "you look like you're losing weight." Yes! I guess the crap in the gym is starting to pay off. Since I don't own a scale, it's hard for me to tell.

~ Drewbacca


     I downloaded the following albums today from my favorite Russian website:

Zero 7 - The Garden
Ween - Shinola
Secret Machines - Ten Silver Drops
The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers
The Long Winters - Ultimatum
Keane - Under the Iron Sea
Elbow - Cast of Thousands
Elbow - Leaders of the Free World
Gomez - How We Operate

Lots of music for the next couple of weeks. Nice.

~ Drewbacca

June 12, 2006

The Saga of Danny and Maria Episode III: End of an Era

     As I returned home from work the other day, I noticed a big moving van out in front of my apartment complex. I didn't think too much of it as people are constantly moving in and out of this place. But then, after my evening run, I noticed an unusual amount of noise coming from Danny and Maria's apartment upstairs. I am actually used to commotion up there, but this was different. I put the two together immediately; moving van, commotion upstairs, uh-oh! Danny and Maria are leaving me! I ran upstairs and walked past their place and sure enough, the door was propped open, cardboard boxes were everywhere and they were trying to figure out how to carry an entertainment center and a birdcage out to the van at the same time (God know why).

     So yes, I got to see what they both looked like. I actually had a chance encounter with them a month or so back, but never got around to letting you all know about it. Trust me, it's not really a great sight. She's twice his size and he looks like a shorter, dorkier version of the Marlboro Man.

     Anyway, I mentioned as I passed by that moving sucks, and Maria responded with, "indeed!" So I got to say goodbye in my own way and they are off to greener pastures hopefully. I hope for their neighbor's sake they are moving into a house, or somewhere on the ground floor. I will miss the buggers.

     It does explain the crazy crazy sex they had the night before though. One last romp through the dining room and kitchen for me to listen to I guess, then off to ...wherever.
God bless 'em.

Danny and Maria Episode I
Danny and Maria Episode II


May 31, 2006


     Someone who's NOT an idiot is a contestant on "Deal or No Deal." The guy did press his luck more than he should've, but he walked with $344,000 and only had $300,000 in his case. Good job sir; I commend thee.

~ Drewbacca

May 30, 2006

Memorial Weekend

Here's my Memorial Weekend in an easy to read nutshell.

after work, saw X-Men III. Drove 165 miles north to Nimrod, MN.

Woke up at 11. Peed outside. Ate lunch at local bar. Saw local, outdoor baseball (Nimrod Gnats - we won). Drank beer. Rode horse. Drank beer. Nap. Peed outside. Internet/email. Drank beer. Watched "Cinderella Man" with mom. Drank beer. Star-gazing. Peed outside. Sleep.

Played in bell choir at church - it was perfect. Nap. Went to Lake Itasca for the afternoon. Walked across the Mississippi River. Ate Walleye. Came home, drank beer. Internet. Nap. Peed outside. Internet/email. Drank beer. Watched "Crash" with Mom. Drank beer. Peed outside.

Lazy lazy lazy. Played with dog. Watched "Sideways" with Dad. Internet. Explored forest/peed outside. Played cribbage. Sat on ass. Watched ants carry a baby snake across the driveway for a couple of hours/drank beer/internet. Came home. Internet/email. Watched "The Motorcyle Diaries." Bed.

And Drewbacca looked upon what he had accomplished and said, "It is good."

~ Drewbacca

May 22, 2006

Dizzy Found Me Last Night

"Let me share the ride..."
With a quick road trip, the Brothers' Robinson and the rest of The Black Crowes were once again graced by my presence as well Crowes fan die-hard, Mr. P. Wagner, at a small club in the heart of the booming metropolis, Clive, IA.

"Sunday Night Buttermilk Waltz..."
Seeing a show at Val Air Ballroom was like seeing a band at the local roller skating rink. A huge, oval shaped, wooden floor with walls and a ceiling that glowed neon green and purple. A HUGE disco ball (that was, alas, never turned on) hung from the ceiling. A cafeteria/bar was spread across the entire left side of the main ballroom with seating and tables for the old folks.

Remedies consumed by this point:
White Russian
Absolut Tonic
16oz. Michelob Golden Light

The show started right on time and with one of my favorite live tunes they do: "Stare it Cold." Mellowing out right away afterwards with "Seeing Things (For the Very First Time)."

And the drink played on:
12oz. Williams Brothers Beer
12oz. Williams Brothers Beer

"If you feel like a riot, don't you deny it..."
The rest of the set played out as usual Crowes fare. "My Morning Song" (my favorite Crowes tune of all time) helped along my happy delirium. "Up on Cripple Creek" was covered for only the second time ever by the Crowes and really got everyone into the groove. The last song neither my compatriot or I knew what it was, but it was one of the best songs of the night: "Lay it All on Me." I can't wait to get a copy of this show so I can hear that one again.

Set break:
12oz. Michelob Golden Light
Bud Lite Can
Bud Lite Can

Bathroom break was a nightmare, but a security guard led me and about 20 other people out of a secret door in the back and let us urinate on the back of the building. Reason #672 to be glad I'm male.

"Powered by 100% freak power..."
Second set was a little unorthodox. Several b-sides and even cuts from the upcoming new album were given to us and the crowd ate it up. These were hard-core fans that knew the words to even the most obscure songs. But the electricity topped out during "Soul Singing" when everyone just let their vocals loose.

PW arrives at my side at some point with the following:
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a smile

"Baby just you watch my head spin..."
As the tunes wore on, my memory starts to get a little hazy. I have no recollection of Jealous Again as I was trying to maintain invisibility as I peed into a plastic cup. At some point, a crazed "fan" threw a cup full of ice onstage nearly hitting Chris. Chris was understandably not amused and we could all read the verbal obscenities coming out of his mouth as he chastised this stupid kid who apparently thought he was at a Skid Row concert. After the song, Chris took to the mic to rip this kid further as the entire crowd pointed to this idiot as he tried to slink out the exit. "Your 40 years old and livin' in momma's basebent. Maybe you should move the f**k out," Chris said.

After "Wiser Time" ended, this was one of the most energetic group of fans I have ever seen at a Crowes show. The encore kicked in with "Space Captain." This pleased us as we had been clamouring and yelling for it all night. The crowd continues to rock out. After this song, I could tell things were supposed to be over, but the crowd's chanting and yelling brought them out for one more. After a quick onstage meeting, the band finally decided to jam out a tune called "Oh Well." We had an Absolut blast and am so glad we made the drive.

"Put your good foot forward..."
At some point during the show I went to find actual sustenance for my friend who I knew had not eaten all night. I got two tap beers and a huge slice of pizza. On my return trip to my spot in the crowd, I forgot there was one more small step onto the floor. I tripped and fell on my side. Saving (most of) both beers and the pizza. This didn't happen because I was a stupid fall-down drunk idiot (that doesn't happen to me); it happened simply because I don't know the venue and forgot about that last step. A girl who was standing there for some reason decided to add insult to injury and poured just a swallow her beer on my head. Why someone would do this is beyond me. Her boyfriend called her a bitch or something and helped me up (thanks dude). I made it back to my bubble of happiness among the crowd and my friend enjoyed his pepperoni.

"This room smells like hotel illness..."
After the show we retreated for more beer and a Jag-bomb at the local bar. Cabbie picks us up and we return to out hotel to trash it like the rock stars that we are, order pizza and try to hack the TV system into giving us free Mario Kart. Basically causing chaos because we can...ya know, different zip code and all.

"Woke up in a whirlwind..."
My body is stiff and my head hurts a little. Cracker Barrel, aspirin and Visine makes the morning easier.

"Another song, another mile..."
Wilco, Bob Marley and cuts from the, yet to be released, new Crowes album accompany our long journey home. Everything was fun and I definitely have stories for the week; including buying a beer and a shot at the bar, then proceeding to turn right around and walk out the door with them. I'm pretty sure that's not legal. I also don't think it's legal to bring them in the cab either...but whatever.

Complete Set List
- Set One -
Stare It Cold
Seeing Things ->
Give Peace A Chance
Soul Singing
Go Tell The Congregation
Coming Home
Sister Luck
Up On Cripple Creek
My Morning Song
Lay It All On Me

- Set Two -
Got To Get Better In A Little While
Under A Mountain
How Much For Your Wings?
You Don't Miss Your Water
Song Of Love
Unknown Jam *
Jealous Again
Wiser Time
- encore -
Space Captain
- second encore -
Oh Well

* Jammed while a PA problem was fixed.

"Mellow down easy..."
I'm going to go sleep for a week now. Have a wonderful week.

~ Drewbacca

May 21, 2006

A First Time for Everything

Copyright to Maddox for the image.
     I've lived in an apartment of one kind or another for nearly 10 years now (aside from a brief stint in a house for two years). I have called the police ZERO times. Until today.

     I awoke this morning with a thunderous crash and uncontrollable laughing. No my loyal readers this was not Danny and Maria. This was coming from the apartment next door to my bedroom. When I say morning, I don't mean 10am. I'm talking about 5:45am on a Saturday. There were between 2 and 4 children having a ball throwing things at my wall and screaming and yelling and crying.

     I pounded on the wall three times in 20 minutes thinking they would get the hint. They did not. I swear these kids were deliberatley injected with about 6 liters of Jolt Cola. I waited and pounded for 45 minutes. Finally, I put on some flannels and my slippers and headed over to their main door (something else I've never done). I knocked three times..... no answer. I waited 30 seconds and could only hear laughing and crying (by the children). I knocked 6 times...much louder this time. Still no answer. "Fine," I thought. "You don't wanna answer your door for me and listen to my easy going complaint, you're loss."

     I dialled 911. I could tell emergency dispatch was not happy with me calling an emergeny number for a noise complaint, so I checked the phone book. No listing for the local police dept. "BANG BANG, cry cry cry" came from the damn neighbors' kids. It is now 6:55am. Screw it! I pay Verizon the $1.25 and call information.

     The police come on line and I tell them of my annoyance. Two squad cars show up and alleviate the problem quickly. I sleep like a baby from 7:30am to noon. I still have not a heard a peep from them.

     I have no idea if the parents were home or what, but it matters little. It is poor parenting to let your kids behave like this. It is like the kid last weekend who threw a crayon over our table while my friends and I tried to enjoy our Sunday morning breakfast. He should be punished...harshly. I need my beauty sleep just as much as I need to enjoy my bloody mary and french toast in peace.

     I'm going to have to use this feature more often. It is well worth the $1.25. I hope they get evicted.....fat chance, as my Dad always says.

~ Drewbacca

May 17, 2006

Summer is Here

Our complex' pool has just passed its yearly inspection and is now open to all residents. My room overlooks the pool so I can now finally see if there are any good looking women in my building. Too bad I don't like to get wet and will never use the pool myself.

~ Drewbacca

Pet Peeve of the Day Vol: IV

Answering machines or voice mail systems that cut you off after 30 seconds. Stupid.

~ Drewbacca

May 15, 2006

Deal or No Deal

I am so sick of this game. Every single contestant I have ever seen play this game are the dumbest, greediest people on the planet. I'm sure that's why the studio chose them to be contestants.

They always end up dealing; but only after they just screwed themselves by turning down $131,000, opening the big case and being offered a measley $23,000. It makes me wanna puke. Every time I play from home, I've walked away with at least $90,000. And each of the players I play with, have left with under $50,000 every time. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

~ Drewbacca

May 14, 2006

The Secret Machines

     There are 4 kinds of shows. The kind that completely rocks your socks off because either you are a super huge fan or the band surprises you to no end. Another kind of show is when you are so repulsed by the band that you feel your ears bleeding and all you can think of is "where is the fire escape?" The two medium levels are when you don't mind the music, but it's just there as background music while you mingle with others or go to the back room to play billiards. The final version of a music show is equivalent to a Secret Machines show. I stood on the upper level and bobbed my head with a big stupid smile on my face for the full hour and a half. That's right; only an hour and a half.

     I love the melodies and cool, yet uncomplicated beats they deliver; but each tune sounds vaguely like the last one. The stage is dark with bright and/or colored lights that wash over the crowd so the band can see me, but we can't really get a good look at the band. There's a skinny silhouette of a man with black leather pants and a guitar dancing around very....gayly. The keyboard player does much of the singing while the drummer seems to be lost in his own world of rhythm. There is no bassist, the keyboard player takes care of the low frequencies.

     Fun with good tunes, but far too short and the crowd was emotionally unresponsive. I realized they have not much going as far as depth goes and probably won't get much farther than their sophmore album. I don't want to short change them too much though, because as I said, I really enjoyed myself. And as similar and un-musically challenging each of their songs is, they are hypnotically fun to sing with and groove to. Plus the beer was good.

~ Drewbacca

May 11, 2006

The Saga of Danny and Maria Episode II: It's All Happening

     Danny and Maria are having sex RIGHT NOW! I'm trying to watch "The Office," and all I can hear is - here's a change - Danny moaning and grunting as opposed to Maria screaming. Just thought you all should know. Oh, and by the way, the walls are pulsingly shaking.... **sigh**

Read the Complete Saga of Danny and Maria -
Episode 1 here

~ Drewbacca

May 08, 2006

Music Madness

     The last concert I saw was The Black Crowes back in November. I've lost a lot of interest in seeing musical shows over the last few years. I'm not sure why, I'm just over it. However, in the next 4 weeks, I will be seeing the following shows:

The Secret Machines
Band of Horses
Halloween, Alaska
The Black Crowes
Soul Asylum

     That may not seem like a lot to many, but to me, that's more music than I've seen in the last two years. I'm excited for all of them. Then in August, at the MN State Fair, I'm planning on getting tickets for The Flaming Lips. Wow.

~ Drewbacca

May 07, 2006

Your Tax Dollars - Hard at Work

     The Twins are playing today. Ok, let's go! Let's take the train. OK! Waiting in the terminal for the train to show up, I notice a little snow globe mounted on the wall with a crank. I think, what is this? I turn the crank, the globe lights up and Christmas music starts to play. What the hell? It's April! I try to figure out the point of this little gadget, but there is none. It's about 4 1/2 feet off the ground, so no child could ever play with it or even see it probably. As I board the train, I think about the fact that my money was spent on a snobe globe in a train terminal.
     As the train travels from stop to stop, I look for another globe. I don't see anything through the windows. But then, at one stop, I do see something. It looks like a couple of gears attached to another crank and there is a miniature windshield wiper attached to an appendage that sticks out of the entire mechanism. I don't want to get off the train to see what this thing is, but I'm sure it's some useless piece of... art? Maybe it's a novelty machine that is supposed to keep people entertained while they have to wait a whole 6 minutes for the next trin to arrive.
     Then the other day my sister tells me the tale of how she had to wait at the train terminal outside of the government center. Here, she claims, they have a pinball looking contraption. You pull the plunger back and let go. A ball goes zipping up a track and it activates a switch, which in turn starts a monitor with some guy talking about the fireflies in Minneapolis and how if you follow them, they lead to a raccoon village or some crazy shit.

     Pointless garbage. I just thought you should know that you paid for all this stuff. Aaah, isn't government spending grand?

~ Drewbacca

May 05, 2006


     About a month ago, I borrowed my sister's computer to back up some files because my iPod was acting goofy and I needed to make sure the music that I don't already physically own was backed up on another hard drive. On my way home from my sister's house, my iPod froze up and was making funny sounds. I tried to reset it, but to no avail. When I got home, I plugged it into the wall and was able to make it work. But wait...where's all my music and podcasts? They're gone! All GONE! I rarely, infact very rarely lose my temper. But losing roughly $10,000 in music did the trick and I broke my kitchen chair after throwing it across the room. I tried for a couple of weeks to get the thing working and figure out what the hell was going on.

Here is what my iPod looked like on that fateful day:


     Today, I turned the thing on (planning to sell it), and lo and behold; MY MUSIC WAS BACK!! All of it! It seems to be working fine now and all my music is there. I'm planning on backing it up tonight when I get home. No potty break, no dinner; backing up iPod files (yes, there is a way to do it).

Here is what my iPod looks like now:

See how much happier he is? Me too.

~ Drewbacca