May 21, 2008

I've Walked Around All Day Today with an Erection

     Tonight at midnight I'll be sitting in a dark theater masturbating. What will I be watching?

May 20, 2008

Chess Cheater

     Figure this one out smart guy:


Biggest Loser: Week 5

     Seriously kicking some ass now. Down another 3 pounds. That's a total of 11 I think from opening weigh-in. I expect my numbers to plateau next week though. I indulged in quite a bit of bad food and beer for four days straight starting last Saturday night. Oh well, can't win 'em all. And maybe if I work out really hard this coming weekend, I can actually lose more weight. Okay, off to have another beer and watch a movie.

May 13, 2008

Pet Peave of the Day: Vol. XVI

     Radio talk show hosts (usually in the morning) that talk about movies like they know something.

Host #1) "Also released on DVD today is 'Untraceable'."
Host #2) "Isn't that the one with Diane Lane?"
Host #3) YES. IT. IS. Hubba hubba!
#2) "Yeah, but her career has sort of taken a turn for the worst lately hasn't it?"
#1) "Actually, I've heard it's pretty good."
#2) "Oh, you've seen it?"
#1) "No, that's just what I heard."
#3) Yeah it looks pretty good.

etc. etc. Later in the conversation...

#1) "...and then there's 'Mad Money' released today starring Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes."
#3) "That looks HILARIOUS!"
#2) "Are you serious?"
#3) "Are you?"
#2) "Say the cast out loud again."
#1) "Diane Keaton"
#2) "Yeah?"
#1) "Queen Latifah"
#2) "yeah?"
#1) "And Katie Holmes."
#3) "And you're telling me you don't think that sounds funny?"
#2) "I rest my case."

So yeah, grinding my teeth all the way to work listening to three guys announce and praise two of the worst rated movies of the last 6 months. Never mentioning of course that Coppola's "Youth Without Youth" and "Walk All Over Me" are also released today.

May 12, 2008

New DVDs

     One of the best sitcoms of all time, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," is still running strong and is in its 7th or 8th season I believe. Well worth watching over and over, I picked up season 5 and 6 on DVD yesterday. Well worth the purchase price of $0. It's nice working in a used DVD store. If you have the means, pick up any season of Curb. You won't be disappointed.

Pet Peave of the Day: Vol. XV


Biggest Loser: Week 4

     So after my movie last night, I had the choice of pasta or a bowl of cereal with some broccoli on the side. I opted for the cereal and broccoli (nice combination, I know). Apparently it has paid off. I'm down 3 lbs from last week, which I believe puts me in the lead for this little contest of ours. Nice. I think I'll go have a doughnut now.

May 09, 2008

Funniest Thing in a While

     MTV has announced the nominees for their movie awards. This is a joke right?

I Am Legend
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Michael Cera (Superbad)
Matt Damon (Bourne Ultimatum)
Shia Lebeouf (Transformers)
Will Smith (I Am Legend)
Denzel Washington (American Gangster)

Amy Adams (Enchanted)
Jessica Biel (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry)
Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up)
Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean 3)
Ellen Page (Juno)

Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men)
Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd)
Topher Grace (Spider-Man 3)
Angelina Jolie (Beowulf)
Denzel Washington (American Gangster)

Alien vs. Predator (AvP: Requiem)
Hayden vs. Bell (Jumper)
Matt Damon vs. Joey Ansah (Bourne Ultimatum)
Tobey Maguire vs James Franco (Spider-Man 3)
Chris Tucker & Jackie Chan vs. Sun Ming Ming (Rush Hour 3)

Amy Adams (Enchanted)
Johnny Depp (Pirates 3)
Jonah Hill (Superbad)
Seth Rogen (Knocked Up)
Adam Sandler (I Now… and Larry)

Nikki Blonski (Hairspray)
Chris Brown (The Christmas)
Michael Cera (Superbad)
Zac Efron (Hairspray)
Megan Foxx (Transformers)
Jonah Hill (Superbad)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Seth Rogen (Knocked Up)

Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey (Enchanted)
Briana Evigan and Robert Hoffman (Step Up 2 the Streets )
Shia LaBeouf and Sarah Roemer (Disturbia)
Ellen Page and Michael Cera (Juno)
Daniel Radcliffe and Katie Leung (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix )

The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man
Sex And The City: The Movie
Speed Racer

i.e. pre-Razzies 2008

Biggest Loser: Week 3

     Shit. Almost forgot to keep you all up to date. Down 2 lbs. this week. That's what you get for living off of carrots, califlauer (no idea how to spell it) and broccoli (no idea how to spell it) for lunch everyday. Water instead of soda is good too.


     So my newest form of entertainment is writing to random people on myspace and pretending like I know them. It's pretty fun. This dude from Maryland is having a difficult time remembering who I am. Good stuff.