May 31, 2007

Welcome to Hurricane Season Morons

     Back when Katrina occurred, I took a lot of flak from friends regarding my cold shoulder in a blog post I made about how I had little sympathy for most of the people in New Orleans who were warned well ahead of time to get out, but made it very clear they were going to stay and stick it out. I lightened up a bit after a day or two, but still: before Katrina hit, I saw interview after interview on CNN with people saying things like, "we've stuck it through hurricanes before, why leave for this one?" Despite the fact that predictions for a cat 5 hurricane were to hit head on into the city. Others turned up their noses even further. "Leave? Hell no, we're gonna have a hurricane party like we always do." So I'm sorry, if there's a cat 5 hurricane coming straight at your house and you decide to stay and have a few beers, you deserve to be flooded.

     So now comes the news this year, that people in Florida have those exact same thoughts and statements to make this year. Here are excerpts from the article at

Most people along the Atlantic and Gulf Coasts still lack a hurricane survival plan and don't feel vulnerable to storms, despite Katrina's dramatic damage and pleas from emergency officials for residents to prepare before the season starts, according to a poll released Thursday.

The six-month Atlantic season starts Friday, and forecasters have predicted an above-average year: with three to five hurricanes of at least Category 3 strength.

Nevertheless, 53 percent of those surveyed in 18 Atlantic and Gulf Coast states say they don't feel that they are vulnerable to a hurricane, or to related tornadoes and flooding, according to the Mason-Dixon poll.

Eighty-eight percent said they had not taken any steps to fortify their homes, and 45 percent still believed the old wives' tale that masking tape helps keeps windows from shattering during hurricanes.

But only a small amount of people, 16 percent, said they would defy orders to evacuate. Cathy Miller, who lives on North Carolina's narrow Ocracoke Island, accessible only by ferry, is one of them. "I've never evacuated," Miller said. "Every time I say that, though, I knock on wood."

     So THIS year, when these people are stranded on their rooftops complaining that the federal government should be bailing them out (literally and figuratively), maybe some of us will think twice about screaming bloody murder to the president. Despite the fact that these people HAVE BEEN WARNED, but ignore those warnings and defy evacuation orders. I'm going on record now, showing what these people are like, so I don't have to defend myself come August when we get reports that a 42 year old single man left his insulin in his house when he evacuated to his rooftop after the house flooded. I'll be saying, tough.


May 26, 2007


     Copletely forgot to mention this. In last week's Filmspotting show from Chicago Public Radio, Adam and Sam read my entire long winded letter about 28 Weeks Later. Nice. It was in episode #161 at the 26:50 mark and you can catch download their past shows at or on iTunes.


May 25, 2007

Happy Birthday Star Wars

     Stop by the MoviePatron Blog today and leave your thoughts on anything Star Wars related. TODAY ONLY, we're accepting anyone to join our ranks of writers and post their very own blog about anything Star Wars related: memories, top ten lists, favorite moments, links, fun stuff and images.

     See the top post on the blog for more details, rules and simple instructions. See you there.

Happy Birthday Star Wars and may the force be with all of you...


May 24, 2007

I'm Annoyed

     None of my co-workers watched Lost last night. They're all watching it tonight when they get home. I'm dying to discuss it and there is NO ONE here to talk with about it. And frustration sets in.


Lost Season Finale Review (spoiler-free)

     My jaw is still on the floor.

- Charlie is cooler than I thought.
- Poor hugo
- Of all the possible scenarios that ran through my head all week, this ending was the furthest from my mind. Amazingly well thought out.
- Ben is a smart mother-trucker.


Why I Don't Discuss Politics Anymore

     Because ultra-liberals can't handle it. I've actually lost "friends" over political debates before because they can't handle healthy discussion without getting angry and worked up and literally either giving me the silent treatment or getting so worked up that they storm off.

The story goes like this...

     I'm on facebook and someone on my friends' list posts a YouTube video of Rosie O'Donnel (et al.) on "The View" having an interesting debate with conservative Elizabeth Hasselbeck about how terrible/good GW Bush is. The conversation went like this (almost word for word) in the comments section...

Me: This video should be re-titled to "A Bunch of Reasons Why Elizabeth is Awesome."
Friend: Actually, I think she's a stupid bitch.

(classy, thought provoking comeback right?)

Me: Only because you have a differing viewpoint than you. She sits daily in front of an incredibly aggressive audience (and country and panel) that attacks her daily and she speaks her mind. I think she's got courage and guts and is far from stupid. "Stupid" is not a characteristic I associate with anyone who graduates from BC in less than 4 years.
Friend: 650,000 dead. She's a republican. End of story.
Me: So you're saying that because she's pro-life, wants to lower taxes and spending and supports fighting terror with force as opposed to ignoring it, she's partly responible for the death of 650,000 (a debatable and not altogether truthful number) people?

     So then I wait. No response. No response. No response. I check my list of friends to go to his/her page and they're gone and have blocked me from their profile! Unbelievable! A nice little debate that turns south for no reason and I've lost another "friend." I write a letter to this person: "Wow. Unbelievable. Did you seriously remove me from your friends list because you couldn't handle a friendly little debate about Elizabeth Hasselbeck? You've proved the exact definition of liberal tolerance with one swift keystroke." I have yet to receive any kind of response; nor do I expect to.


May 22, 2007

Newest Guitar Hero (80's Edition)

     More tracks released today:

"I Wanna Rock" - Twisted Sister
"I Ran (So Far Away)" - A Flock of Seagulls
"Round and Round" - Ratt
"I Want Candy" - Bow Wow Wow
"Metal Health" - Quiet Riot
"Holy Diver" - Dio
"Heat of the Moment" - Asia

"18 and Life" - Skid Row
"Bathroom Wall" - Faster Pussycat
"Lonely is the Night" - Billy Squier
"Nothing But a Good Time" - Poison
"Play With Me" - Extreme
"Shakin'" - Eddie Money
"Synchronicity II" - The Police


Holy SHIT is that a Close Call!

     I don't think the pilot meant to get that close to the ground. You can hear the announcer stop his words in their tracks as disaster almost (and that's an understatement) almost occurs.


May 21, 2007

Plans for Tonight

     I'm going to watch Die Hard.


May 17, 2007

Nice Boycott Assholes

     For any of you taken in by the whole, "don't buy gas on the 15th" thing: nice job. What happened? Gas prices went up. Wow, that seemed to work almost as well as it did the first fifteen times we've tried that. Instead you used up my time and bandwidth with your silly emails about a totally thoughtless boycott.

Instead, why don't you try getting rid of your needless SUVs and think about maybe driving a little less? Now isn't that a remarakable idea instead of blaming Clinton and Bush for not ratifying the Kyoto Protocol?


May 09, 2007

I Didn't Get Much Sleep

     Went to bed at a decent tim last night (for the first time in about 2 weeks). Yet I was treated to my upstairs neighbors' sexual activity at 5AM! From then on, I was sort of in and out of consciousness until my alarm went off at 8:05. Why can't you have sex at a normal time like everyone else? Who the hell wakes up at 5am to have sex? No one except the people that devil helped move in above me to deprive me of sleep.


May 07, 2007

I'm So Done with Myspace

     Ok, not really. But for the most part, yes. In the last three days I have gotten over 25 friend requests and/or personal messages from web cam whores. It used to be once or twice a day, now it's more like 8 or 9 per day and I'm sick of it. Not to mention it sometimes takes hours to load up some people's profiles with the ridiculous amount of crap they post (youtube videos, sparkling pictures, widgets and sound bites). It's overwhelming and frankly ugly as hell; but mostly just annoying. I'll still use myspace to check in once in a while and also for my movie site updates and bulletins.

     Not that anyone actually reads this blog, but if you'd like to catch up with me, I'll be wasting my time over on FaceBook from now on. See you there.


May 01, 2007

Damage Control

     A few days ago I posted about my open letter to the local cinema. Here is their generic, cut and paste response. I know it's cut and paste because it mentions things I said that were never in my letter; like the reference to the snack bar. This only pisses me off further. I'll be seeing Spiderman 3, Thursday night, at the OTHER theater...

Dear Mr. Bird:

Thank you for contacting our corporate office to express your concerns regarding your visit to our Eagan Stadium 16 location. I have forwarded your comments to the district manager directly over this theatre and the theatre manager for their review.

I am sorry to hear that you think our snack bar and/or ticket prices are too high. From a business perspective, our goal is to provide our patrons with a quality movie going experience while making a profit at the same time.

I hope you will understand that there are tremendous costs associated with the operation and maintenance of a theatre. Not only do we have high operating costs (payroll, utilities, rent, equipment, etc.), but we must also pay costly film rentals to the film companies. Although prices inside a theatre may seem high, they have stayed in line with the rate of inflation. A recent report shows that the cost of movie admission remains much below the admission to a sporting event or amusement park.

Once again, I thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding your feelings on this matter. Your input is invaluable to us in our efforts to continually improve customer service and enhance the operations of our theatre operations. We value your patronage and look forward to your next visit.

Teresa Welsh

Thank you for your bullshit answer, Ms. Computer... er... Welsh. You should be a politician.


Horse-shit Item of the Day

     From and the AAP, women drivers are better and safer than men. I don't believe the results of these studies for a moment.

The statistics, based on a telephone survey of 2384 drivers and AAMI claims data collected last year, revealed that men are more likely to act aggressively behind the wheel.

The study found that 47 per cent of men and 38 per cent of women have rudely gestured at other drivers.

And 84 per cent of men have crashed their vehicle, compared to 77 per cent of women.

“Our claims data shows that men's crashes tend to be more serious than women’s,” AAMI spokesman Geoff Hughes said.

“They are more likely to be involved in head-on collisions, roll-overs and loss-of-control crashes, as well as crashes involving pedestrians, cyclists and animals.”

Sure, 84% of men have crashed their car. That's probably because some old lady cut them off and forced them off the road. And men's crashes are "more serious than women's" because men are not scared of the freeway while women take the 45mph side roads.

It isn't until way later in the article before they finally admit:

Women are more likely to be involved in relatively minor crashes such as reversing into stationary objects.

The female brain is not as good at spatial relationships, so it is not surprising that they strike stationery objects more frequently than men.

"Reversing into stationary objects?" So yes, men get angry and are more aggressive and end up dying. Women just do stupid, small things that distract us, like look pretty and run over fire hydrants and cats.