April 26, 2006

A Moment

     My friend and I went to the movies a couple of weeks ago (big shocker, I know) and as I was exiting the theater, I glanced over at the poster for the upcoming film, "United 93;" which depicts the WTC smoking in the distance.

     Also looking at the poster was a little girl and her mother. The girl must've been about 6 years old. The mother was using her finger to demonstrate the path of the planes as they struck the building. She was explaining to her daughter about what had happened that day. The little girl stood listening intently and I could swear I saw a hint of fear in her eyes. She was absolutely transfixed by her mother's story.

     It had never occurred to me that there are people in this country who don't remember that day, or don't even know about it. And here I was, watching this little girl hear about the tragedy for the very first time.

     I'm not sure what made me stop and watch, but it was "a moment" for me. This little girl was maybe one year old in September of 2001 and so had no recollection of 9/11 and no one, understandably so, had any reason to explain it to her until this point. I only caught the tail end of the conversation, so I don't know if the little girl had asked her mother what the picture was, or if the mother had decided to explain it to her since they were sitting right there anyway.

     I guess my point is, I felt a bit older that day. I can't explain why, but it was an interesting experience for me and I will never forget it. I'll never forget that little girl's expression as she was told the story I assumed (wrongfully) that we all knew.

- Drewbacca

Pet Peeve of the Day vol III

     Anyone who thinks those damn "Real Men of Genius" commercials, for Bud Light, are funny. God, I HATE those commercials!


Drink...Don't Drive

     I got a great email today. It pointed out that beer is now cheaper than gas. So don't drink and drive....just drink. It's cheaper!


April 25, 2006

Essential Reading

      This weekend I purchased what is probably the most important book I will ever read:
"The Zombie Survival Guide."
Written by: Max Brooks

      You all scoff at me now (as did my friend I was with when I bought the book), but you'll thank me someday when the undead rise to cause havoc on this world. I'll have the knowledge, confidence and know-how to keep you alive.

      As many of you know, I love Zombie films; but as I've read and learned over the past couple of days, Hollywood has deceived us on many levels. I've started vigorous training protocols and prepared a contingency plan for all 4 levels of outbreak. I highly suggest each of you take into consideration this very real threat and spend the most important $13 of your life...it just may save it.

      Here are excerpts from the table of contents; just to give you a taste of the vast amount of knowledge you are sure to attain in the 250 pages of vital information...


   Solanum: The Virus

   Zombie Attributes
   Physical Abilities...Behavioral Patterns

   Class 1...Class 2...Class 3...Class 4



   General Rules

   Close Combat
   Bludgeons...Edged Weapons...Misc. Hand Weapons...Power Tools

   Slings & Arrows



   Molotov Cocktails...Dousing...The Blowtorch...The Flamethrower

   Other Weapons
   Acid...Poison...Electrocution...Zoological Warfare...Genetic Warfare...Nanotherapy...[more]



   The Private Residence (Defending Your Home)
   Preparation Part 1: The Home...Preparation Part 2: Supplies...Surviving an Attack...Immediate Defense

   Public Spaces
Cemetaries...Office Buildings...Capitols and City Halls...[many many more]

   General Rules

   The Fortress
   Military Complexes...Prisons...Offshore Oil Rigs

   General Rules
   Establish a Destination...One Goal...Gather Intel...Plan Your Journey...Avoid Large Groups...Train Your Group...Remain Mobile...[much more]


   Sedan...SUV...Busses..Trucks...Armored Cars...Motorcycles...[more]

   Terrain Types
   Forest...Plains..Swamp...[much more]

   Alternate Means of Transportation
   By Air...By Water


   General Rules
   Collective Response...Keep Discipline...[about 50 more categories]

   Weapons and Gear


   Terrain Types

   Lure and Destroy...The Barricade...The Tower...Mobile Tower...The Cage...The Tank...The Stampede...Motorized Sweep...Airborne Sweep...The Firestorm..Underwater Battles...[more]


   The Undead World

   Starting Over

   General Rules
   Assemble a Group...Study Study Study!...Wean Yourself Off Luxury Items...[tons more]

   Terrain Types


   Then What!?

(here's just a few of about 50 catalogued in the book):
   60,000 BC - Katanda, Central Africa
   3000 BC - Hieraconpolis, Egypt
   212 BC - China
   1073 AD - Jerusalem
   1690 AD - The Southern Atlantic
   1611 AD - Edo, Japan
   1848 AD - Owl Creek Mountains, Wyoming
   1923 AD - Colombo, Ceylon
   1942-45 AD - Harbin, Japanese Puppet State of Manchukuo (Manchuria)
   1960 AD - Byelgoransk, Soviet Union
   1987 AD - Khotan, China
   Apr. 1994 AD - Santa Monica Bay, California
   1996 AD - The Line of Control, India
   2002 AD - St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands

   Appendix: Keep Your Own Outbreak Journal

      So again, I highly recommend you pick up this essential training and survival guide for you and your family. If you see any signs of a possible zombie outbreak, try to contact me immediately and we can join forces to save ourselves, our community and maybe even the entire world!

- Drewbacca

April 24, 2006

I've re-Joined the 21st Century!

     I finally got a new cell phone. My old one broke and I never replaced it and cancelled my Verizon account. I'm back with Verizon now and am happy after 2 days of service. The sales guy was awesome too.

     Anyway, if I know you, chances are I already emailed you my new number. If not, let me know. Talk to ya later! While driving in my car probably!


April 23, 2006

Only in My Dreams

     I had a dream last night that I met Darth Vader. It was probably the most terrifying experience I have ever felt...

     I went to a party with a friend. He knew everybody and I knew no one. My friend left with a girl or something and I just hung out and mingled and met new people. I was having a good time, until... Everyone instantly stopped talking and set down their drinks. The stereo was unplugged and two girls quickly put on these long black robes/cloaks and ran to close the blinds on the windows (I don't know why). I tried to ask the person next to me what was happening and he just shook his head very slowly and quietly said, "sshh." So I did. Still standing in silence and trying to figure out what the hell was going on, there was a sound of the apartment door unlocking. Everyone in the room stiffened and stood completely at attention. I thought, "this is weird." Then the door opened and Lord Vader stepped in. I absolutley froze. I can't tell you how real it seemed. I was so scared that my heart was racing at double time. Vader quickly surveyed the room and I started to choke and thought it was Vader choking me. I realized it wasn't him and that I was so surprised I had inhaled incorrectly and breathed in some of my own saliva. I made a coughing noise and Vader looked right at me. I nearly shat myself with fear as he began to walk right...towards...me.

     I must have fainted in the dream, because that's when I woke up. I laid awake at 4am for a few mintues processing what had just happened. It was scary. I hope I never really have to meet the Dark Lord for real.

     I know, I know. I need therapy.


April 21, 2006

My Hero

     3 in a Tree, probably the best local band I know of, has come through huge. Frontman and all around nice-guy, Pete Wagner got me sweet-ass seats for The Black Crowes (the best non-local band I know of) show in Iowa in May! I can't think of any other reason to ever go to Iowa, but if there ever was a reason, this is it!
     I'm excited as hell and already took the next day off of work for recovery purposes. So thanks dude. And keep on rockin' in the free world.

I'm sure to have a full report of the show on this site when I get back.

For more info on "3 in a Tree," go to 3inatree.com


April 20, 2006

Haskell's Wine Sale

     The one sale I never miss every year is Haskell's wine nickel sale. It actually happens twice a year and it is a GREAT deal! It used to be that if you buy one bottle of wine, you get a second bottle of the same brand for only a nickel. They've changed the rules recently however. They now just average the price of what two bottles would cost so you can buy just one for the discounted price.

     For example: it used to be, you had to buy a bottle of Scandalia Syrah for $25, then to get the deal, you had to buy a second one for five cents. Now though, they just reduce the price of the original bottle to $12.55. I like this a lot better. Now I can try lots of different types of good wine for cheap, so I know what to buy the rest of the year.

     I'm not a huge wine conniseur (sp?) and I usually just stick to the cheap stuff. Not really cheap, but....inexpensive. But here is my yearly chance to experience some of the good stuff. My current favorite is an Australian wine called Penfold's. They have several flavors and a few differnent styles of each flavor. My current fav is their Shiraz/Cabernet, Bin 389. I really enjoy it.

     So I just got home with a boatload of Penfolds and other new choices. I'm really excited to try Greg Norman's Cab/Merlot. The guy at the shop says it is absolutely the best Cab/Merlot you can get for under $30. It even beats some of the upper class bottles. The sale lasts throughout this week, so if I like it, I may go back for more.

     While there, I ended up spending waaaaay too much money and re-stocking my bar as well. I am now prepared to greet guests at my place this summer. I'm not a huge drinker, but I love to make drinks for people. And yes ladies, I have the fruity stuff and know how to mix a good cocktail.

     Stop by and get a cab ride home or sleep on my highly uncomfortable hide-away bed! Now all I have to look forward to is the release of Sam Adam's Summer Ale. My favorite summer beer. My mouth is watering just thinking about it and my diet is sure to suffer...oh well. All in the name of the party gods!

- Drewbacca

Email buddy

     So my long time email/chat buddy is changing jobs. It souds like he will have much less time to chat with me all day. This leaves me to just read news articles and email myspace buddies. I'm holding on to him at least through the summer, but that day in Spetember will be a sad one. Good luck man!


The Saga of Danny and Maria

     I gave serious thought to renaming this blog and caling it the "Saga of Danny and Maria." But then I thought better of it. instead, here is the saga (so far) of Danny and Maria all in one post...

     I moved into my apartment on November 1, 2005. I was very excited to finally have my own place with no roommates or girlfriends. On the VERY EARLY morning (about 4am) of Nov. 6th, I jumped from my sleep with a start as my entire room shook as though a cable car had been dropped on my roof. As my heart raced from excitement and my nerves began to slowly relax, another earth shattering thud came from above me; this time acompanied by a man shouting: "Get the F out! Get the F out!." Only the voice wasn't saying "F," if you catch my meaning. I could hear this screaming for the next 15 minutes or so as more things seemed to tumble from the neighbors above onto their floor. It didn't sound like anyone was being beaten, just a lot of throwing and stomping, along with more yelling for someone to get the F out. Apparently, whomever was being yelled at was coming home way too late, and was with someone of whom the yeller did not approve.

     I laid awake in my bed listening to the excitement above me thinking, "if this doesn't stop in the next ten minutes, I'm going to call the cops." After five more minutes of "get the F out," and other phrases over and over and over, I peeked out my window, and sure enough, here were two squad cars in my parking lot. I thew on my flannel pants and raced downstairs to greet the officers and let them in. I informed them it wasn't me who had called, but I know where you want to go: third floor, room #XYZ.

     After that, things seemed to calm down that night and for the next 2 or 3 nights. then one thursday night, I heard strange noises again. This time, they seemed like a girl in pain. I paused my DVD and listened. I could here soft, dreamlike music coming from...somewhere. I put my ear to the middle pillar in my apartment. Just beyond the music, I could hear moaning. I quickly realized it wasn't pain, but the sounds of pleasure I was hearing. Fairly soft. I decided not to be a pervert and go back to watching "Amelie."

     Then two or three nights later, more fighting. I put my ear to the wall again and this time, the argument was about "Brokeback Mountain" of all things. Apparently this girl was upset that the guy didn't like it or didn't want to see it. I can't always hear every word ver batim, but I usually get the gist. After arguing the merits of Brokeback, this led into a whole host of things: why she spends so much time with his cousin; he doesn't like it when she discusses sexual things at the bar with other people, even her friends; how he wants them to exercise more, but whenever he brings it up, she gets angry at him for accusing her of being too fat. Keep in mind, that this is NOT a discussion, but a full blown yelling argument that lasts for more than an hour usually. Of course, every apartment adjacent, from any direction, to them can hear every word. This was the night that I finally heard him use her name: Maria.

     These fights are a regular occurrence and I've learned to actually enjoy them. I turn down my stereo or theater and just listen and have my own reality/entertainment show. But the real fun begins with the sex. Has anyone ever seen "The Secret of My Success" with Michael J Fox? He moves into a temporary place, while looking for a job in NYC, and the people next door to him make so much noise during love-making he can't concentrate on anything else? This is my life at least once a week. This is also where I learned the name of the guy that lives upstairs. Blog readers, meet Danny.

     I can't actually be sure if his name is Danny. It could be that she is screaming daddy. Like I said, words are sort of muffled with my ear against the wall. Sex with Maria is a vocally loud experience apparently. They want everyone around them to know their doing it. The headboard bangs against the wall, Maria is screaming for Danny/daddy to make her cum and he is hitting her so hard (I assume in the ass) that it permeates even my pillow over my ear. Between the screams, the moans and the "talking", it is actually possible to know what position they are in and how often each of them climaxes. It is hilarious.

     This was the best: One night last week, I came home from work a little later than normal (around 630 pm) and was shocked to hear Danny and Maria going at it a little earlier than normal. The moaning and headboard were in full throttle and I turned up my stereo and put the headphones on while I surfed the internet. After 20 minutes, I removed the headphones and was relieved to hear only silence. About an hour later, a fight broke out. She was screaming at him to "stop it!" It sounded like he was pinching her or something playfully and it turned into a fight as he kept doing it after she told him it hurts; several times. She started stomping on my ceiling and screaming and, I'm not going to get into here, this broke into another hour long fight about trivial crap. After Maria slammed the door and left the room, I was treated to more silence....for about 2 hours. Then the humping started AGAIN! Ok, I understand make-up sex, it's all good. Not 30 minutes after they had both...pleasured each other, ANOTHER fight broke out! I couldn't believe it! They had now had two sexual encounters and two major fights in the span of about four hours.

     I won't drag on any further, but I will keep updates coming as they occur. I did get the chance to finally see Danny and Maria early this week. That was an experience all it's own. I will post that story tomorrow.

     So far no one has been over at my place at the exact time any of this is taking place to confirm. But I wait for that day when a friend and I can laugh together at the saga that is Danny and Maria.


Diets Suck

Diets suck.