November 30, 2006

Last Post of November

     November 2006. I'll never forget it. I saw like 100 movies and worked many hours. I forgot to pay my Verizon bill and broke my cell phone in the same week. I bought a new set of head phones and I fixed my iPod by myself. I purchased egg nog for the first time this year and replaced the first light bulb in my apartment since moving in over a year ago.

Also, November of 2006 was the month in which I made the most posts to this blog: 24 (including this one). Then next closest was 16 in October of 2004.

Hope December is just as amazing and memorable as November was.


The Longest Post

     One of the only music artists that I am still a fan of today that I listened to when I was 7 years old is definitely "Wierd" Al Yankonvic. His newest album has been released; and besides great tracks like "Don't Download this Song" or the Green Day paradoy of "American Idiot," entitled "Canadian Idiot," is the eleven minute epic, "Stuck in the Drive Thru." Here are the lyrics for your viewing pleasure...

Seven O'Clock in the evening
Watchin somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

She says "Is this 'Behind the Music'
with Lynard Skynard?"
And I say "I don't know.
Say, it's gettin' late...watcha wanna do for dinner?

She says "I kinda had a big lunch.
So I'm not super hungry."
I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could eat."

She said "So whadya have in mind?"
I said "I don't know what about you?"
She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat."
I said "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says "Let me think...
...What's left in our refridgerator?"

I said "Well, there's tuna, I know."
She said "That went bad a week ago!"
I said "Is the chili OK?"
She said "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said
"I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'."
She's like "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like "I should know what I said..."
She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry
Callin' for the third time today...
My wife said "Let it go to voicemail."
I said, "OK."

"Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d'ya want to do?"
She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes...
...Oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say "OK, where ya want to go?"
She says "How about The Ivy?"
I said "Yeah, well I don't know..."

I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
She's says "Olive Garden?"
I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood...

...And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says "Just forget about it"
I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I says "I know what we'll do!"
She says "What?"
I say "Guess"
She says "What?"
I say "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well here we are
in the drive-thru line, me and her.
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?"

My wife says "Maybe we should park...
...We could just go eat inside."
I said "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride..."

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?"
I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese."

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time"

I said "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says "That's not what I'm hungry for."
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said "Then, take our order,
and we'll be on our way!

I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She's like "You want onions on that?"
I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do...

...Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it."

Then I said "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright...
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right."

She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich.
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says "We're havin' a special,
I supersized you at no charge."

"Oh." And that's all
I could say, was "Oh."
And she says "Now there is somethin' else
That I really think you should know.

You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more..."
I say "Great, except we're in the drive thru...
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like "No, that ain't Paul,
now tell me, who's this Paul?

She says "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me.
I sat behind him last year
and I copied off him in Geometry.

I said "I know a guy named Paul.
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer.

He also had bladder problems
and a really bad infection on his toe."
And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there,
that's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents."

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio...

*Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog" plays*

*Click* Turned it off
because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake.

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said "Um,
I think you have somethin' in your teeth."

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said "Did I get it?"
I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it...
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it."

Then she said "How about now?"
I said "Yeah, almost.
There's still a little bit there
but don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast."

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like,
"Well, well that'll be five eighty two."
I turn around to my wife, and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this, I guess."
So she reaches into her purse
and pulls out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says "Oh, dear.
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here."

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks."
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks.

I said "I thought you were
going to hit the ATM today"
She says "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway?

And I said "Nevermind,
Just help me to find some change..."
Now the lady at the window
is lookin at me kinda strange...

And she says "Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along"
I said "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady,
We won't be long."

So I looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
frozen on her face
She screams, "you know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place!"

And so I turned around
to the cashier again
I shrugged and said "OK
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my reciept
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene."

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene,
Can I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say "Ketchup!"
And he says "Oh yeah, that's right...
...I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight."

And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
by the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say "Baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
they forgot the onions!



The Day the Music Died

     My sister just sent me word that the popular, LEGAL, Russian website,, will soon be closing its e-doors. Hence, no more wonderful music that rivals giants like iTunes and Wal-Mart in quality and price (by far). This will be a huge blow to my music collection and ulitmately my pocketbook. I refuse to be gouged by the record companies and pay $17 for a CD that costs very little to produce. I know there are a lot of chunks in the payable pie of what goes into producing an album, but I care little. I want my music cheap and fast and was the best way to get that accomplished. I guess trips to the library are in my future.

     I am extremely saddened and yes, my day has been ruined.

     You can read the full article HERE, and I encourage anyone who has a remaining balance on their account with, to use it up and collect as much music as you can before they are gone for good. Hopefully they'll still be open on Saturday and I will spend the afternoon getting everything I can.


November 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

     "In regards to Iran, I'll tell you...a showdown is coming that is going to make Iraq look like a Shirley Temple film."

- Sir Bill O'Reilly


November 28, 2006

Most Ridiculous Item of the Day

     This is utter prepostericity (my word). I hope this woman sticks to her guns and tells the retards living in her home association to "shove it."

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A homeowners' association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.

Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs.

He said some residents believed the wreath was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.

"Somebody could put up signs that say drop bombs on Iraq. If you let one go up you have to let them all go up," he said in a telephone interview Sunday.

Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."

Jensen, a past association president, calculates the fines will cost her about $1,000, and doubts they will be able to make her pay. But she said she's not going to take it down until after Christmas.

"Now that it has come to this I feel I can't get bullied," she said. "What if they don't like my Santa Claus?"

The association in this 200-home subdivision 270 miles southwest of Denver has sent a letter to her saying that residents were offended by the sign and the board "will not allow signs, flags etc. that can be considered divisive."

The subdivision's rules say no signs, billboards or advertising are permitted without the consent of the architectural control committee.

Kearns ordered the committee to require Jensen to remove the wreath, but members refused after concluding that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn't say anything.

Kearns fired all five committee members.

November 27, 2006


     For the third time this month (that I've heard), the guy upstairs has begun to sob while fighting with his wife/girlfriend. What a suck.


Mind Numbing

     Election '08 is far in the distance, yet numbers, predictions and bank accounts are already being secured for possible candidates in the race. I came across an interesting poll from Financial Dynamics that tries to figure out who would win the election if it were held today (actually, about two weeks ago).

     The numbers for republicans and democrats I couldn't really care less about as anything can happen in the next 24 months and as we know, polls are highly unreliable. What is more interesting is the number of people who don't know who these candidates are. Shocking and remarkable.

     You can click on the link above to see table after table of data, but these are the numbers that took me by surprise: possible candidate and the percentage of people (out of 1005 registered voters) WHO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THE PERSON - -

Rudy Giuliani - - 10%
Condoleezza Rice - - 4%
John McCain - - 10%
Newt Gingrich - - 12%
Mitt Romney - - 48%
Sam Brownback - - 61%
Duncan Hunter - - 69%

Hilary Clinton - - 0%
Al Gore - - 0%
Barack Obama - - 34%
John Kerry - - 2%
John Edwards - - 16%
Joe Biden - - 36%

     These registered voters make me sad. We live in a world now where one can totally isolate themselves from the real world. You want to watch movies 24/7 (like me)? You can. If you want to immerse yourself in sports and leisure, we got it. You have unlimited amounts of addictive porn and adult chat rooms on the internet. Our society has hundreds of channels on cable and satellite to fill your time and brain with crap.

     I admit I didn't know who Sam Brownback and Duncan Hunter are either, but 10% of registered voters (in this sample) don't know who Rudy Giuliani is!? 34% don't know Barack Obama? Or even worse, 20 REGISTERED VOTERS (out of 1000) have no idea who John Kerry is. I beg everyone, turn off "Dancing with the Goddamn Stars" and watch CNN once in a while. How can we have a democratic society and an informed populace when only 40% of voters go out and vote in an election and a small percentage of those voters don't even know who Condoleeza Rice is? You don't need to know everything, but for God sake, inform yourself once in a while and pick up a news paper (even reading the NY Times would be better that no paper at all) and learn who Joe Biden is. This information makes me angry and sad. I hope the numbers are incorrect, but they probably aren't.


November 20, 2006

Pics of the World

     This is a SUPER cool website. Just click on any red dot to see multiple images from that spot in the world.

Zoom in and out and upload your own pics. Enjoy and thank me for introducing you to this magic.


Crazy Cosmo

     Hey Kramer! Welcome to the unemployment line you dumbass!



     Two people have already found out the hard way that I am not the person with whom to mess today. Especially when I'm right. Usually care-free and happy-go-lucky (damn that sounds gay), today I am on a rampage. I should have a Mr. Yuck sticker on my chest today - stay away!


Vote Band of Horses

     The PLUG Independent music awards nominees are in and everyone should get over and vote. My personal second place album of the year is up for several categories including band of the year and album of the year. Get over to The PLUG Awards now and vote for Band of Horses in every category.

Rock and roll...

Oh Poop

     "Six o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream.
I was kissing Penelope Cruz by a crystal blue, Italian stream.
But I can't be late because then I guess I just won't get paid.
These are the days when you wish your bed was already made.

It's just another manic monday..."


November 17, 2006


     Friday night and I need a fight.
My Motorcycle and a switchblade knife...
Handful of grease and my hair feels right.
But what I need to make me tight are those

Girls Girls Girls...


The Morning of Fri, Nov. 17

     How to spend your day at work today:

Clicking refresh on any Playstation 3 eBay auction in the last 2 minutes and watching it jump in increments of $100 every ten seconds. The highest I've seen one go for so far is $6100. I won't call the guys waiting in line all day losers anymore I guess.


November 16, 2006

The Force is with You, Young Retard

     I don't even need to offer up commentary on this one. I'll let the article speak for itself. I'm the biggest Star Wars fan I (or you) probably knows. But after reading this article I'm about to copy and paste, I think that's a good thing.
From UK/Ireland Yahoo! news:

Two self-styled Jedi Knights are stepping up an intergalactic campaign for formal recognition. Umada and Yunyun, also known as John Wilkinson and Charlotte Law, want the UN to acknowledge "The Force" is worthy of being called a religion. The couple claim to be part of the UK's fourth largest religious group, after 400,000 people recorded their faith as "Jedi" in the 2001 Census.

They say that as a religion, they deserve tolerance and respect. November the 16th is the annual International Day for Tolerance.

And as part of a global battle worthy of Luke Skywalker's efforts against the Empire, the band of self-styled Jedis want the UN to re-name the day as Interstellar Day of Tolerance.

More people claim their religion to be Jedi in England and Wales than those who follow Sikhism, Judaism and Buddhism. And the cause has global support.

There are also 70,000 Jedi knights in Australia, 53,000 in New Zealand, and 20,000 in Canada.

This is Umada and Yunyun's letter to the UN Association:

To whom it may concern,

For the last ten years the United Nations has marked today as the International Day of Tolerance.

While we support this important work, we feel the UN needs to move with the times.

In the 2001 UK census, 390,000 people identified themselves as Jedi Knights, making us the fourth largest religion in the country.

We have a proud heritage dating back 195,000 years to our first Jedi, the blue haired, blue eyed Kaja Sinis, who was born on Coruscant.

Like the United Nations, the Jedi Knights are peacekeepers, and we feel we have the basic right to express our religion through wearing our robes, and to be recognised by the national and international community.

We therefore call upon you to change the 16th November to the United Nations Interstellar Day of Tolerance, to reflect the religious make-up of our twenty-first century civilization.

Tolerance is about respecting difference where ever it lies, including other galaxies. Please don't exclude us from your important work.

May the Force be with you.



     This is very likely staged and fake as hell. But still, since I believe in ghosts, this is damn creepy. And if it's fake, it's better than most Hollywood directors are at giving me the willies....

Ghost caught on tape?


November 14, 2006

You Tube Issues

     I figured out how to embed youtube videos in my movie blog (a much better service by the way); but I can't figure out how to embed on blogger (blogspot) without giving my username and password to youtube - which is bullshit. Anyone got any ideas or know of a way around this?

     Oh yeah, and to the point of this, check out this sweet fan made film of The Imperial forces under Darth Vader as they take on The Colonial fleet and Commander Adama. Wow.


November 13, 2006

Why Torture Should Be Legal

I would love to get my hands on this guy. All I need is two minutes...

Somerset father accused in assault
Friday, November 10, 2006

By Caitlin Cleary, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A Somerset County man has been accused of abusing his newborn daughter -- smashing her head into a bathroom sink and onto a dining room table, bending her leg over his shoulder until he heard it break and twice using an electric cattle prod on the baby.

Brandon Alan Austill, 21, of Somerset Borough, was charged Wednesday with aggravated assault, endangering the welfare of a child and possession of an electric or electronic incapacitation device.

The device, a hand-held prod called the Hot Shot Power-Mite, is used legitimately by dairy farmers, hog producers and large-animal veterinarians to deliver 4,500-volt shocks to cattle, pigs and other livestock. Its manufacturer warns buyers to keep the Power-Mite away from children.

Rest of story is HERE.

So they release this piece of shit's name and location in the story. If he isn't in jail for at least the next 20 years, I will find him and it will hurt... a lot.


November 09, 2006

Rumsfeld Meets the Press

     This is hilarious:

Rummy meets the press


Win or Lose

In response to a recent comment at Bird's Eye re-View, here is a quote from Anderson Cooper tonight on CNN regarding the new secretary of defense; "Can Gates find a way for the American troops in Iraq to start to draw down OR win in Iraq?"

The key word in that sentence is OR. Win, or not to win; that is the question. So yes, we can win or we can lose. There are multiple options to either scenario, but it's ultimately up to the American people...truly it is. You choose.


November 08, 2006

Rumsfeld Resigns!

About time. Now we can win this war!


Today is Wednesday

"Gas prices shot up over $.26 per gallon in some parts of the country today as Wall Street continues to fall in the wake of yesterday's election results."


In lighter news, we may finally get to see the Democrats' grand plan for victory in Iraq that they've been telling us they have for two years.


November 06, 2006

Cows in Road. Use Caution.

Only leaving Mankato would I see a sign and a subsequent 15 minute slow down because of this.


November 03, 2006


     I spend way too much time on YouTube; both at work and at home.
Here's a link to all my favorite videos that I've found:

Drewbacca's Favorites on YouTube