May 31, 2006


     Someone who's NOT an idiot is a contestant on "Deal or No Deal." The guy did press his luck more than he should've, but he walked with $344,000 and only had $300,000 in his case. Good job sir; I commend thee.

~ Drewbacca

May 30, 2006

Memorial Weekend

Here's my Memorial Weekend in an easy to read nutshell.

after work, saw X-Men III. Drove 165 miles north to Nimrod, MN.

Woke up at 11. Peed outside. Ate lunch at local bar. Saw local, outdoor baseball (Nimrod Gnats - we won). Drank beer. Rode horse. Drank beer. Nap. Peed outside. Internet/email. Drank beer. Watched "Cinderella Man" with mom. Drank beer. Star-gazing. Peed outside. Sleep.

Played in bell choir at church - it was perfect. Nap. Went to Lake Itasca for the afternoon. Walked across the Mississippi River. Ate Walleye. Came home, drank beer. Internet. Nap. Peed outside. Internet/email. Drank beer. Watched "Crash" with Mom. Drank beer. Peed outside.

Lazy lazy lazy. Played with dog. Watched "Sideways" with Dad. Internet. Explored forest/peed outside. Played cribbage. Sat on ass. Watched ants carry a baby snake across the driveway for a couple of hours/drank beer/internet. Came home. Internet/email. Watched "The Motorcyle Diaries." Bed.

And Drewbacca looked upon what he had accomplished and said, "It is good."

~ Drewbacca

May 22, 2006

Dizzy Found Me Last Night

"Let me share the ride..."
With a quick road trip, the Brothers' Robinson and the rest of The Black Crowes were once again graced by my presence as well Crowes fan die-hard, Mr. P. Wagner, at a small club in the heart of the booming metropolis, Clive, IA.

"Sunday Night Buttermilk Waltz..."
Seeing a show at Val Air Ballroom was like seeing a band at the local roller skating rink. A huge, oval shaped, wooden floor with walls and a ceiling that glowed neon green and purple. A HUGE disco ball (that was, alas, never turned on) hung from the ceiling. A cafeteria/bar was spread across the entire left side of the main ballroom with seating and tables for the old folks.

Remedies consumed by this point:
White Russian
Absolut Tonic
16oz. Michelob Golden Light

The show started right on time and with one of my favorite live tunes they do: "Stare it Cold." Mellowing out right away afterwards with "Seeing Things (For the Very First Time)."

And the drink played on:
12oz. Williams Brothers Beer
12oz. Williams Brothers Beer

"If you feel like a riot, don't you deny it..."
The rest of the set played out as usual Crowes fare. "My Morning Song" (my favorite Crowes tune of all time) helped along my happy delirium. "Up on Cripple Creek" was covered for only the second time ever by the Crowes and really got everyone into the groove. The last song neither my compatriot or I knew what it was, but it was one of the best songs of the night: "Lay it All on Me." I can't wait to get a copy of this show so I can hear that one again.

Set break:
12oz. Michelob Golden Light
Bud Lite Can
Bud Lite Can

Bathroom break was a nightmare, but a security guard led me and about 20 other people out of a secret door in the back and let us urinate on the back of the building. Reason #672 to be glad I'm male.

"Powered by 100% freak power..."
Second set was a little unorthodox. Several b-sides and even cuts from the upcoming new album were given to us and the crowd ate it up. These were hard-core fans that knew the words to even the most obscure songs. But the electricity topped out during "Soul Singing" when everyone just let their vocals loose.

PW arrives at my side at some point with the following:
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a can of Bud Lite
a smile

"Baby just you watch my head spin..."
As the tunes wore on, my memory starts to get a little hazy. I have no recollection of Jealous Again as I was trying to maintain invisibility as I peed into a plastic cup. At some point, a crazed "fan" threw a cup full of ice onstage nearly hitting Chris. Chris was understandably not amused and we could all read the verbal obscenities coming out of his mouth as he chastised this stupid kid who apparently thought he was at a Skid Row concert. After the song, Chris took to the mic to rip this kid further as the entire crowd pointed to this idiot as he tried to slink out the exit. "Your 40 years old and livin' in momma's basebent. Maybe you should move the f**k out," Chris said.

After "Wiser Time" ended, this was one of the most energetic group of fans I have ever seen at a Crowes show. The encore kicked in with "Space Captain." This pleased us as we had been clamouring and yelling for it all night. The crowd continues to rock out. After this song, I could tell things were supposed to be over, but the crowd's chanting and yelling brought them out for one more. After a quick onstage meeting, the band finally decided to jam out a tune called "Oh Well." We had an Absolut blast and am so glad we made the drive.

"Put your good foot forward..."
At some point during the show I went to find actual sustenance for my friend who I knew had not eaten all night. I got two tap beers and a huge slice of pizza. On my return trip to my spot in the crowd, I forgot there was one more small step onto the floor. I tripped and fell on my side. Saving (most of) both beers and the pizza. This didn't happen because I was a stupid fall-down drunk idiot (that doesn't happen to me); it happened simply because I don't know the venue and forgot about that last step. A girl who was standing there for some reason decided to add insult to injury and poured just a swallow her beer on my head. Why someone would do this is beyond me. Her boyfriend called her a bitch or something and helped me up (thanks dude). I made it back to my bubble of happiness among the crowd and my friend enjoyed his pepperoni.

"This room smells like hotel illness..."
After the show we retreated for more beer and a Jag-bomb at the local bar. Cabbie picks us up and we return to out hotel to trash it like the rock stars that we are, order pizza and try to hack the TV system into giving us free Mario Kart. Basically causing chaos because we can...ya know, different zip code and all.

"Woke up in a whirlwind..."
My body is stiff and my head hurts a little. Cracker Barrel, aspirin and Visine makes the morning easier.

"Another song, another mile..."
Wilco, Bob Marley and cuts from the, yet to be released, new Crowes album accompany our long journey home. Everything was fun and I definitely have stories for the week; including buying a beer and a shot at the bar, then proceeding to turn right around and walk out the door with them. I'm pretty sure that's not legal. I also don't think it's legal to bring them in the cab either...but whatever.

Complete Set List
- Set One -
Stare It Cold
Seeing Things ->
Give Peace A Chance
Soul Singing
Go Tell The Congregation
Coming Home
Sister Luck
Up On Cripple Creek
My Morning Song
Lay It All On Me

- Set Two -
Got To Get Better In A Little While
Under A Mountain
How Much For Your Wings?
You Don't Miss Your Water
Song Of Love
Unknown Jam *
Jealous Again
Wiser Time
- encore -
Space Captain
- second encore -
Oh Well

* Jammed while a PA problem was fixed.

"Mellow down easy..."
I'm going to go sleep for a week now. Have a wonderful week.

~ Drewbacca

May 21, 2006

A First Time for Everything

Copyright to Maddox for the image.
     I've lived in an apartment of one kind or another for nearly 10 years now (aside from a brief stint in a house for two years). I have called the police ZERO times. Until today.

     I awoke this morning with a thunderous crash and uncontrollable laughing. No my loyal readers this was not Danny and Maria. This was coming from the apartment next door to my bedroom. When I say morning, I don't mean 10am. I'm talking about 5:45am on a Saturday. There were between 2 and 4 children having a ball throwing things at my wall and screaming and yelling and crying.

     I pounded on the wall three times in 20 minutes thinking they would get the hint. They did not. I swear these kids were deliberatley injected with about 6 liters of Jolt Cola. I waited and pounded for 45 minutes. Finally, I put on some flannels and my slippers and headed over to their main door (something else I've never done). I knocked three times..... no answer. I waited 30 seconds and could only hear laughing and crying (by the children). I knocked 6 times...much louder this time. Still no answer. "Fine," I thought. "You don't wanna answer your door for me and listen to my easy going complaint, you're loss."

     I dialled 911. I could tell emergency dispatch was not happy with me calling an emergeny number for a noise complaint, so I checked the phone book. No listing for the local police dept. "BANG BANG, cry cry cry" came from the damn neighbors' kids. It is now 6:55am. Screw it! I pay Verizon the $1.25 and call information.

     The police come on line and I tell them of my annoyance. Two squad cars show up and alleviate the problem quickly. I sleep like a baby from 7:30am to noon. I still have not a heard a peep from them.

     I have no idea if the parents were home or what, but it matters little. It is poor parenting to let your kids behave like this. It is like the kid last weekend who threw a crayon over our table while my friends and I tried to enjoy our Sunday morning breakfast. He should be punished...harshly. I need my beauty sleep just as much as I need to enjoy my bloody mary and french toast in peace.

     I'm going to have to use this feature more often. It is well worth the $1.25. I hope they get evicted.....fat chance, as my Dad always says.

~ Drewbacca

May 17, 2006

Summer is Here

Our complex' pool has just passed its yearly inspection and is now open to all residents. My room overlooks the pool so I can now finally see if there are any good looking women in my building. Too bad I don't like to get wet and will never use the pool myself.

~ Drewbacca

Pet Peeve of the Day Vol: IV

Answering machines or voice mail systems that cut you off after 30 seconds. Stupid.

~ Drewbacca

May 15, 2006

Deal or No Deal

I am so sick of this game. Every single contestant I have ever seen play this game are the dumbest, greediest people on the planet. I'm sure that's why the studio chose them to be contestants.

They always end up dealing; but only after they just screwed themselves by turning down $131,000, opening the big case and being offered a measley $23,000. It makes me wanna puke. Every time I play from home, I've walked away with at least $90,000. And each of the players I play with, have left with under $50,000 every time. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

~ Drewbacca

May 14, 2006

The Secret Machines

     There are 4 kinds of shows. The kind that completely rocks your socks off because either you are a super huge fan or the band surprises you to no end. Another kind of show is when you are so repulsed by the band that you feel your ears bleeding and all you can think of is "where is the fire escape?" The two medium levels are when you don't mind the music, but it's just there as background music while you mingle with others or go to the back room to play billiards. The final version of a music show is equivalent to a Secret Machines show. I stood on the upper level and bobbed my head with a big stupid smile on my face for the full hour and a half. That's right; only an hour and a half.

     I love the melodies and cool, yet uncomplicated beats they deliver; but each tune sounds vaguely like the last one. The stage is dark with bright and/or colored lights that wash over the crowd so the band can see me, but we can't really get a good look at the band. There's a skinny silhouette of a man with black leather pants and a guitar dancing around very....gayly. The keyboard player does much of the singing while the drummer seems to be lost in his own world of rhythm. There is no bassist, the keyboard player takes care of the low frequencies.

     Fun with good tunes, but far too short and the crowd was emotionally unresponsive. I realized they have not much going as far as depth goes and probably won't get much farther than their sophmore album. I don't want to short change them too much though, because as I said, I really enjoyed myself. And as similar and un-musically challenging each of their songs is, they are hypnotically fun to sing with and groove to. Plus the beer was good.

~ Drewbacca

May 11, 2006

The Saga of Danny and Maria Episode II: It's All Happening

     Danny and Maria are having sex RIGHT NOW! I'm trying to watch "The Office," and all I can hear is - here's a change - Danny moaning and grunting as opposed to Maria screaming. Just thought you all should know. Oh, and by the way, the walls are pulsingly shaking.... **sigh**

Read the Complete Saga of Danny and Maria -
Episode 1 here

~ Drewbacca

May 08, 2006

Music Madness

     The last concert I saw was The Black Crowes back in November. I've lost a lot of interest in seeing musical shows over the last few years. I'm not sure why, I'm just over it. However, in the next 4 weeks, I will be seeing the following shows:

The Secret Machines
Band of Horses
Halloween, Alaska
The Black Crowes
Soul Asylum

     That may not seem like a lot to many, but to me, that's more music than I've seen in the last two years. I'm excited for all of them. Then in August, at the MN State Fair, I'm planning on getting tickets for The Flaming Lips. Wow.

~ Drewbacca

May 07, 2006

Your Tax Dollars - Hard at Work

     The Twins are playing today. Ok, let's go! Let's take the train. OK! Waiting in the terminal for the train to show up, I notice a little snow globe mounted on the wall with a crank. I think, what is this? I turn the crank, the globe lights up and Christmas music starts to play. What the hell? It's April! I try to figure out the point of this little gadget, but there is none. It's about 4 1/2 feet off the ground, so no child could ever play with it or even see it probably. As I board the train, I think about the fact that my money was spent on a snobe globe in a train terminal.
     As the train travels from stop to stop, I look for another globe. I don't see anything through the windows. But then, at one stop, I do see something. It looks like a couple of gears attached to another crank and there is a miniature windshield wiper attached to an appendage that sticks out of the entire mechanism. I don't want to get off the train to see what this thing is, but I'm sure it's some useless piece of... art? Maybe it's a novelty machine that is supposed to keep people entertained while they have to wait a whole 6 minutes for the next trin to arrive.
     Then the other day my sister tells me the tale of how she had to wait at the train terminal outside of the government center. Here, she claims, they have a pinball looking contraption. You pull the plunger back and let go. A ball goes zipping up a track and it activates a switch, which in turn starts a monitor with some guy talking about the fireflies in Minneapolis and how if you follow them, they lead to a raccoon village or some crazy shit.

     Pointless garbage. I just thought you should know that you paid for all this stuff. Aaah, isn't government spending grand?

~ Drewbacca

May 05, 2006


     About a month ago, I borrowed my sister's computer to back up some files because my iPod was acting goofy and I needed to make sure the music that I don't already physically own was backed up on another hard drive. On my way home from my sister's house, my iPod froze up and was making funny sounds. I tried to reset it, but to no avail. When I got home, I plugged it into the wall and was able to make it work. But wait...where's all my music and podcasts? They're gone! All GONE! I rarely, infact very rarely lose my temper. But losing roughly $10,000 in music did the trick and I broke my kitchen chair after throwing it across the room. I tried for a couple of weeks to get the thing working and figure out what the hell was going on.

Here is what my iPod looked like on that fateful day:


     Today, I turned the thing on (planning to sell it), and lo and behold; MY MUSIC WAS BACK!! All of it! It seems to be working fine now and all my music is there. I'm planning on backing it up tonight when I get home. No potty break, no dinner; backing up iPod files (yes, there is a way to do it).

Here is what my iPod looks like now:

See how much happier he is? Me too.

~ Drewbacca

May 03, 2006

Note to Self

Don't ever run a mile and a half ever again....EVER!

- Drewbacca