January 30, 2007

I Wish I Knew How to Quit Ewe

     Curing Gay Sheep.
excerpts taken from the Feb 2 issue of "This Week" Magazine.

     Apparently, scientists from Oregon State University have found that if left to their own devices, between 5% and 8% of adult male sheep will engage exclusively in "ram on ram action." These gay rams seem to have one thing in common: they all have unusually smaller hypothalamus' than straight sheep.

     Gay rights organizations of course loved this news; indeed, embracing it because it provides huge evidence of their theory that "gayness" is genetic or caused by natural, physical characteristics and not a mental issue or a choice by some radical or perverse humans.

     But now of course, since scientists have figured out "the problem," they are able to fix it. By tinkering with the sheep's testosterone levels within the brain, they have been able to make the gay sheep prefer ewe over their usual taste for anal action. So because of this, gay rights activists are now speaking out against the procedure, or "tinkering," for fear that it may be used on humans. Of course, this is the same problem we'll have if a "gay gene" is ever found. The gay rights people, who are very usually on the side of "abortion on demand" policies and a woman's right to choose, will be singing a very different tune when abortions sky rocket because women's babies are found to have this alleged "gay gene."

     Now, I found this to just be a rather interesting story and one you can think about and take what you will from it. But what got me, is the absolutely fabulous quote by the lesbian, tennis player, Martina Navratilova; who said in all seriousnes, "Sheep have 'a right' to be gay!"

Update: read the comment section. Apparently the facts in this article might be skewed and inaccurate. Still, I'm leaving it up because the quote is way too funny to not publish. Plus, though the links in the comment section seem legit, it's really weird this person who happens to be the guy who did the research found my blog within about 15 minutes of me posting it. I have no outbound links or trackbacks. Nobody reads this blog, so the chances of him stumbling across it at random are pretty low and it wouldn't appear in a Google search. So the guy must be purposefully scouring the blogs looking for this story. The commentor (Jim) has no profile or blog posts of his own. The whole thing is just fishy.


January 28, 2007

Why NBA Fans are Morons

     I just saw the starting five players for each team in the NBA All-Star game. Besides several strange choices that are debatable and can therefore be overlooked, can someone please tell me why Shaquille O'Neill was named as the starting center? Anyone? Let's just take a look at his stats on the year, shall we?

Games Played: 6
Min. Per Game: 25
Free throw percentage: .44 (despite the fact he's 7'1" and been pro for 14 years)
Points per Game: 12
Rebounds per Game: 6.5
Assists per Game: 1
Steals per Game: 0.2
Blocks per Game: 1.5
On top of this, he can't act or rap either.

So again, why is this guy the starting center for the East? Please. Nice voting people. You couldn't find one center in the east that's played more than 6 frakking games? Tools.


January 26, 2007

Weekly Movie Trivia Update

     3rd. I came in 3rd. Again. The DJ took my advice though and put a cap on the "cheating team" that wins every week. It will now be my turn to prevail.

     In the meantime, if anyone knows a lot about 70's films, celebrity gossip and has a good eye for detail (for video clips), meet me at Champps next Thursday and we'll split the money... 70/30.


January 25, 2007

Letter to Mr. Scorsese

     Watch the last 8 seconds of "The Door in the Floor" starring Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger. That sir, is how you end a film with poignancy and metaphor; not your worst ending of the decade shot in "The Departed."



January 24, 2007

Fascism, USA

     My day is going along swimmingly. The Oscar noms were yesterday, work is slow and my podcast had the best first day download traffic ever. Then along comes this story in my email alerts...

Mayor Ken Corley of Brazoria, Texas, has proposed a city ordinance that would make using the "N-word" in an offensive fashion a crime equal to disturbing the peace and punishable by a fine of up to $500.

Corley polled his constituents and found "overwhelming support" for the ordinance. Brazoria, with a population of around 2,800, is an industrial city nestled about 50 miles south of Houston near the Gulf of Mexico coast. About 10 percent of the population is black.

Under the proposed Brazoria ordinance, users of the N-word would be fined only if a complaint were filed against them, thus protecting those who think they are using the word as a term of endearment.

"This is government trying to take the easy way out," said Judge Andrew Napolitano. "When people use words that are harmful, they lack civility and they lack education, but they don't lack the right to say it."

Bishop Ricky Jones, a black minister and the head of the Living Word Fellowship Christian Center in Brazoria, "wholeheartedly" supports the ordinance and the mayor, though he doesn't agree with the "term of endearment" loophole.

"It's trying to be made a term of endearment in the black community, the way it has been used so loosely, but I for one, when I look at that word and look at the history of it, it has been used to demonize, demoralize and degrade black people as a whole."

...read full story at The Houston Chronicle

     Instead or writing 5 paragraphs explaining why I obviously would never support a bill like this for so many reasons, I'll keep it as simple as this:

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech.

     It doesn't go on to say, "except this word and only sometimes for some people." No. This is a bullshit law that should not be tolerated by the people of that city if they are true Americans. This is a blatant rape of the first amendment.


January 20, 2007


     Various exploratory committees have been formed by several prominent US politicians in the past days and weeks for the presidency of the Unites States. Please take some time to get to know the possible candidates and read and listen to their ideas. Try to read between the lines with ALL of them and ask yourself which candidate is best for the United States of America. Click on any of the video announcements below...

Barack Obama
John McCain
Hilary Clinton
Rudy Giuliani
Mitt Romney


January 17, 2007

Cry Me a River

     Raise your hand if you're sick of hearing about the two abducted boys. I mean sure, it's a bizarre and interesting case, but why do we have to hear about it night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night?


January 13, 2007

Drunken Rant #1 (A-P)

     This is the first in a series of ups and downs lately that I feel the need to communicate at 2am after 3 beers, 2 gimlets and a shot of Dr. McGillicuddy...

A) People on the road suck. The speed limit is 70 mph, why are you going 50mph? The fact that you are old, Somalian, drive a cab or any combination of the three is not an excuse. Grow up.

B) The constant bitching about 20,000 more troops in Iraq. A, they are mostly coming from Kuwait and are therefore there alrready. B, This is what the people have beem clamoring for, for 2 years (I can provide several quotes from many "distinguished" democrats to prove it). So lighten up.

C) If you are on the George Harsison Fan Club at Champps on Thursday in Burnsville, lick my butthole. I will take any one of you on, any day of the week in movie trivia. Ganging up on me with your bullshit technology only encourages me to press on. You will not defeat me forever. What will happen the day you DON'T win the $100 and can't pay for your drinks? Don't come crying to me because I know more than you...... pansies.

D) To the chicks at Eagle Street looking for a three-some: Great idea, but wrong way to go about asking me for it. Nice try. I like White Russians; but not THAT much!

E) Elephant - see it today.

F) I watched the worst episode of "Curb Your Enthusisasm" I've ever seen. So bad in fact, that I may stop watching the series all together (after 4 seasons!). Bingo is now lame in my book.

G) If you think Babel is "garbage" - I hate you.

J) I have still yet to play Guitar Hero II. This is annoying and it is all my friends' fault for owning it but not having a convenient time for me to come over and play. Get up to date on my schedule and deal with it.

K) My Dad rules. If you disagree, prove it and I'll punch you in the kidney.

L) The IRS needs to think about simplifyling their crap.

M) Myspace is seriously trying my patience.

N) Yes, I know "H" and "I" comes after G; but this is MY blog. Fuck off.

O) My entire toenail fell off tonight on the second toe on my right foot. I was wondering what the hell was scratching the bottom of my foot all night!

P) "Bright eyed and bushy tailed" is not the phrase I would use for how I will feel in about 3 hours when I have to go to work for the first work weekend in almost 8 months.


January 10, 2007

It's About Time.... and money

     For the first time in three years, the government actually owes ME some money. Nice. I actually feel a little bit better now about having to wait an extra week for Pan's Labyrinth.


One More Week

     "Pan's Labyrinth," the most critically acclaimed film of the year (according to RottenTomatoes.com) and my most anticipated film of the year (after Babel anyway) has been pushed back another week in my quality-cinema devoid city of Minneapolis. This is the third time. My week is ruined. At least I finally get to see Oscar bound "Letters from Iwo Jima" this weekend. One bright spot at least.