Vacation Brochure

note: My first blog with swearing in it. An historic moment!

     Enjoy a lovely stay in Sudan! Women raped daily! Bring the kids! Overweight? Sudan's dry arid climate is just the place for no food to grow, hence you'll lose those pesky extra 100 pounds in just days. Stay in our posh make-shift huts of string and torn grain sacks. Looking for some adventure? You'll have all the fun you can handle running through the forests and desert plains while being chased by the evil Janjaweed. Equipped with only your wits, you'll have to escape these government hired mercenaries who are armed with knives, whips, and fully-automatic 40mm guns mounted to pick-up trucks! Just for fun, we'll make sure you have to run with your 3 year old daughter in your arms because she is unable to walk due to typhoid and pneumonia!
     The best part of all this excitement is, you never have to worry about it ever stopping! The United Nations won't do anything to save you, so you'll be on your own. You'd think maybe The President of the United States could do something to end your lovely vacation, but nobody will listen. Members of the U.N. are too busy being paid by the Sudanese government in oil bonds to give a rat's ass! They will vote time and time again over a period of months to do nothing. Kofi Anan has too many other important things to do; like smoke fat cigars and make sure arabs are spared the humiliation of having to honor Saddam's oil vouchers to the French, Germans, Russians, and Chinese. If it looks like the killing is getting "out of hand," the U.N. has decided to get together and discuss the "possibility" of placing sanctions on the Sudan government.
     So, instead of heading to Disney World this winter, why not lose those post election blues by bringing the whole family down to sunny Sudan. Tired of worrying about which rich guy to place in the most powerful position in the world? Or which fast food restaurant to stuff your face with again tonight? Did the damn kids use all $50 of gas in the Escalade again? Or worse, did the dog shit on the rug once more? Well, good news! You can bring Rover along too, and watch as the arab-muslim faction slices his tail off just to watch him bleed to death next all of the other livestock in the burning crop fields that would've otherwise fed you and your family for a month. You never know when, but rest assured, one night while you sleep soundly in the dirt and rocks of your hut with a fabulous view of the night sky, the terrorists WILL invade your camp with guns blazing to torture and kill as many men and boys as possible before raping and killing all the women and girls.
     Whether man or woman, adult or child, all can enjoy the excitement of being penetrated in some form or another while the corpse of closest family members lie within feet of your violation. Oh yeah, and if you're lucky enough to be pregnant at the time, they may let you go with nothing but a slice of the tendons behind your knee so that you know you belong to them. All of this and much much more await you in beautiful Darfur, Sudan! And you thought you wouldn't have any fun this winter...shame on you!


Author's note:
This is not an attempt to make light of a horrible situation. It is just my way of trying to write sarcastically about a situation that really PISSES ME OFF! What the hell is happening in this world when genocide is happening right under our proverbial noses, and nothing is being done about it!? I knew this was happening, but I didn't realize to what extent...until today. Where is the media on this? I've heard it mentioned lightly a few times, but this should be almost as big of an issue as the Iraq war. I haven't heard anything about it in any of the debates or in the campaigning. I want to know what will be done about this NOW! We can't not do anything! We are Team America: World Police for God's sake!
Let me end with the words of Howard Dean, "AAAAAaaaargh!"