User Reviews

     Netflix is a nice little tool and a great way to get access to movies you might not find at your local video rental store. But some of the people on there write some of the dumbest, most inane, unintelligent reviews for movies I've ever seen. I'm not the world's greatest writer (FAR from it) and I also understand film is subjective; but c'mon. If you're going to hate a movie, hate a movie for the right reasons - not because you're a dumb-ass.

A Scanner Darkly is a film I didn't particularly enjoy (though would like to revisit) and I say why. But here is an excerpt from a Netflix user, who goes by the original handle of "txb 122525", who chimed in with his $.02 on why the movie sucks...

WOW...this crap should come with a disclaimer that it is actually anime and bad anime at that!!! Actually it looks like they filmed it and then animated over it. Why would they even consider producing a film like this? Either make an anime or a live action movie. Don't film live action and then animate it...pure stupidity. I was so distracted by the animation of live action that i could not even pay attention to whatever story they were trying to tell. Simply put...WASTE OF A RENTAL unless you like animation of live action...but if you enjoy live action...WASTE OF TIME

Two words: tool shed.

Anyone Know Mathematics?

     So I'm looking at getting new storage shelves for my growing DVD collection. I was looking on ebaY when I came across this media storage tower that would actually be perfect...




Then I noticed the final line in the description: "infinite combinations of the above." I thought it might be funny to buy the thing, then calculate the permutation for the number of actual combinations of ways to display my VHS tapes, CDs and DVDs. Then send it back demanding my money returned because I tried every possible combination and there is only a finite number of ways to do it. Hence, false information in the ad.

Nah. That's too much work. It would be funny though.

Frakked-Up Friday: Episode 3

     Welcome to a very late (and short) edition of Frakked-up Fridays!


???


NOT work safe

Frakked-Up Friday: Episode 2

     Nice response with the pilot episode. Here's more frakked-up goodness...







Zero-G Pilots




More Zero-G (even better)


This was way funnier the second time once I realized what it was:








NOTICE ME!








click image for larger

Pet Peave of the Day: Vol XVIII

     When my web site's server isn't working and no one can see the pictures I've hotlinked to. It might be happening right now. Are any pictures showing up anywhere on the page you're looking at? No? Then FUCK Startlogic.com!

Makes Me Smile

Pet Peave of the Day: Vol XVII

     France Ave.

Remember this Post?

     As it turns out, I'm a genius...

http://birdseyereview.blogspot.com/2007/08/go-celtics.html




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Frakked-Up Friday: Episode 1

     I'm going to try to do this as a new feature at the end of every week. Enjoy!

A Personal Record

     Maybe not one I should be proud of, but whatever. Since I've started growing my hair out, I've found that it looks a lot better (and not crazy frizzy) if I don't wash it. A little bit of natural oils in the hair is a good thing according to the hair stylist. So I've been washing it about every three days (I still take a shower and it gets wet, but no shampoo).

But this past week has been crazy CRAZY busy, so I've neglected my hair washing responsibilities. Last time I washed it? Last Thursday night. Today is Thursday again. So I've gone a full week. That's the longest I've ever gone without washing my hair in my entire life. No cooties, no greaseballs, no dandruff; hell, it doesn't even smell too bad (I don't think). I'll wash it tomorrow before work though.

Aren't you glad you stopped by this blog today? Where would you be without this sort of class information that no other site in the world can provide you with.

I've Walked Around All Day Today with an Erection

     Tonight at midnight I'll be sitting in a dark theater masturbating. What will I be watching?

Chess Cheater

     Figure this one out smart guy:




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Biggest Loser: Week 5

     Seriously kicking some ass now. Down another 3 pounds. That's a total of 11 I think from opening weigh-in. I expect my numbers to plateau next week though. I indulged in quite a bit of bad food and beer for four days straight starting last Saturday night. Oh well, can't win 'em all. And maybe if I work out really hard this coming weekend, I can actually lose more weight. Okay, off to have another beer and watch a movie.

Pet Peave of the Day: Vol. XVI

     Radio talk show hosts (usually in the morning) that talk about movies like they know something.

Host #1) "Also released on DVD today is 'Untraceable'."
Host #2) "Isn't that the one with Diane Lane?"
Host #3) YES. IT. IS. Hubba hubba!
#2) "Yeah, but her career has sort of taken a turn for the worst lately hasn't it?"
#1) "Actually, I've heard it's pretty good."
#2) "Oh, you've seen it?"
#1) "No, that's just what I heard."
#3) Yeah it looks pretty good.

etc. etc. Later in the conversation...

#1) "...and then there's 'Mad Money' released today starring Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes."
#3) "That looks HILARIOUS!"
#2) "Are you serious?"
#3) "Are you?"
#2) "Say the cast out loud again."
#1) "Diane Keaton"
#2) "Yeah?"
#1) "Queen Latifah"
#2) "yeah?"
#1) "And Katie Holmes."
#3) "And you're telling me you don't think that sounds funny?"
#2) "I rest my case."

So yeah, grinding my teeth all the way to work listening to three guys announce and praise two of the worst rated movies of the last 6 months. Never mentioning of course that Coppola's "Youth Without Youth" and "Walk All Over Me" are also released today.

New DVDs

     One of the best sitcoms of all time, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," is still running strong and is in its 7th or 8th season I believe. Well worth watching over and over, I picked up season 5 and 6 on DVD yesterday. Well worth the purchase price of $0. It's nice working in a used DVD store. If you have the means, pick up any season of Curb. You won't be disappointed.

Pet Peave of the Day: Vol. XV

     Mondays.

Biggest Loser: Week 4

     So after my movie last night, I had the choice of pasta or a bowl of cereal with some broccoli on the side. I opted for the cereal and broccoli (nice combination, I know). Apparently it has paid off. I'm down 3 lbs from last week, which I believe puts me in the lead for this little contest of ours. Nice. I think I'll go have a doughnut now.

Funniest Thing in a While

     MTV has announced the nominees for their movie awards. This is a joke right?

BEST MOVIE
I Am Legend
Juno
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Transformers
Superbad

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
Michael Cera (Superbad)
Matt Damon (Bourne Ultimatum)
Shia Lebeouf (Transformers)
Will Smith (I Am Legend)
Denzel Washington (American Gangster)

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
Amy Adams (Enchanted)
Jessica Biel (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry)
Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up)
Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean 3)
Ellen Page (Juno)

BEST VILLAIN
Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men)
Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd)
Topher Grace (Spider-Man 3)
Angelina Jolie (Beowulf)
Denzel Washington (American Gangster)

BEST FIGHT
Alien vs. Predator (AvP: Requiem)
Hayden vs. Bell (Jumper)
Matt Damon vs. Joey Ansah (Bourne Ultimatum)
Tobey Maguire vs James Franco (Spider-Man 3)
Chris Tucker & Jackie Chan vs. Sun Ming Ming (Rush Hour 3)

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
Amy Adams (Enchanted)
Johnny Depp (Pirates 3)
Jonah Hill (Superbad)
Seth Rogen (Knocked Up)
Adam Sandler (I Now… and Larry)

BEST BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
Nikki Blonski (Hairspray)
Chris Brown (The Christmas)
Michael Cera (Superbad)
Zac Efron (Hairspray)
Megan Foxx (Transformers)
Jonah Hill (Superbad)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Seth Rogen (Knocked Up)

BEST KISS
Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey (Enchanted)
Briana Evigan and Robert Hoffman (Step Up 2 the Streets )
Shia LaBeouf and Sarah Roemer (Disturbia)
Ellen Page and Michael Cera (Juno)
Daniel Radcliffe and Katie Leung (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix )

BEST SUMMER MOVIE… SO FAR
The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man
Sex And The City: The Movie
Speed Racer

i.e. pre-Razzies 2008

Biggest Loser: Week 3

     Shit. Almost forgot to keep you all up to date. Down 2 lbs. this week. That's what you get for living off of carrots, califlauer (no idea how to spell it) and broccoli (no idea how to spell it) for lunch everyday. Water instead of soda is good too.

MySpace

     So my newest form of entertainment is writing to random people on myspace and pretending like I know them. It's pretty fun. This dude from Maryland is having a difficult time remembering who I am. Good stuff.